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Today was an emotional day.

Gabriel Goh from my school passed away due to an accident. Although I don't know him and I only know him as the guy in charge of my group in the water rafting during Sec 2 camp, I hope he's happy up there with God. God will take care of him. Heaven's a happy place.

This incident made me realise how life can be so fragile. Break it, lose it, it's over. After half an hour in the chapel, I had loads of questions in my head. Why is God acting so unjust in this? Gabriel had like everything. He was a student leader, a good Scout and a model student. His future was already pathed out for him. But God had to take him away, just like that, in a blink of an eye.
I asked Mr Er what I was thinking. He told me some answers but the one that strucked me the most was, "The length of life is not important, it is the quality of life that matters." Then I thought, Gabriel had a very fulfilling life. Even if he passed away, at least he accomplished something that most didn't.
I thought of some peers who think "life's an ass. i wanna die." ALL THE TIME. I mean, at least they're alive to rectify what they regret. But they choose not to. Why do they not see that their life is precious?
Some even waste their life away by doing stupid things. Life is short, live life to the fullest are lines you normally hear. Have it ever occured to you that these lines are so true? We live to accomplish. Only then we pass away with peace in our heart. Why do these people not see they have the chance and potential to do things they never though they would do? Why do they just wanna waste life away being a a total slacker and leaving fate to decide their life?
Let me tell you something. YOU DECIDE YOUR LIFE. Fate plays no role in this. YOU are the cause of your own fortune. YOU can also be the cause of your own downfall. It's no one's fault if you ever land in prison for doing some misdeed. If you didn't make that decision to do it, you wouldn't be where you are now.
Now all I want is for people to learn something from this incident. I did. I wish some people would realise they are not nothing. The reason they are in this life is to accomplish something. I leave you now.

Rest in peace, Gabriel. You would always be in our hearts and prayer.

I'm not exactly in the best of mood now. In fact, my mood's like way down, down, down and more down than you can ever think of.

History test and Science test tomorrow. Gotta mug hard. I'm already placing all my hopes into getting into Pure Geography. There is no way I can get into Bio since ten thousand people who are smarter than me are aiming for that stream. If I don't get into PG, I don't know how my life is gonna turn out already.
I didn't go wakeboarding today. I was super lethargic and I wanted to study.
SOS, I need someone to listen to me right now. Save me tonight.

Love,
Fionella.

Okay, my ear (YES, you ain't reading wrongly.) is being rather funny now, or should I say for the past 2 weeks. It's like, peeling and liquid, NOT pus, has been coming out of it. Gross, I know. So if some of you happen to be eating your meal in front of the computer and reading this, I sincerly apologise. Abby the EAR doctor said perhaps some bacteria got into it and cause the itchyness and she asked me not to touch it. I can't help it! It's as itchy as chicken pox! Rah. I shall stop rambling on about my ear since this is a blog and not some ear rambling site. Then again, you came here not to read about my ear aye? SO MOVING ON.

School ended at 1 today. Gabby and Roy got into a fight in class. Gab's gonna get it again I guess. If I'm not wrong, they fought over something insignificant. O_O But whatever, lalalalala.

I tabulated my clothes wishlist today and I realised I need $800 to fund myself. After the EOY's, I'm swear I'm gonna work for cash, then shop and CHRISTMAS PRESSIES! :D

After school, studied a lot. Really, a lot. Like 2 chapters within 2 hours. Pretty fruitful study date today. [:Thanks Joseph for the ipod. Avril Lavigne and Good Charlotte kept me going. [: Three cheers for The Best Damn Thing and Good Morning Revival. I want both albums! Plus FOB and FM Static. Great bands everyone should adore manz.

I love Dashboard Confessional's Stolen. It's on repeat mode currently. (x

SHIAT. I need to get on with my Home Ec now.
FARE-D-WELLLLL.
LOVE, FIONELLA.

The worst things always falls on a Sunday.
Is Sunday a curse or something? Why do I always have to take so much shit on a Sunday? The last time so many things happened was also on a Sunday. What's with Sundays and me? I think I'm jinxed on Sundays.

Enough of the bad shit. On the other hand, I finally got my Rubik's cube. [: I only managed to get one side and it was orange. Heh. I'm gonna try to get the others man. Perseverance!

I'm gonna stay home all day and try to figure out the damn E-learn. I f-ing hate E-learn. When it comes to modern stuff like E-learn or traditional stuff like coming to school, I rather pick the traditional ways. E-learn is dumb. Like why did HIHS put E-Learning day the same as 4 other schools. The whole bloody system would be lagged up like nobody's business. But that moron asked us to be patient blah blah blah. Yeah, patient. PATIENT.

I hate Sundays. Damn.
ineedmywalklater.idontwnaseeemlateron.theydontwishtoseemeatallanw.
Love, Fionella.

Aloha.

I studied. (Does one and a half pages of History notes count?) But I guess I'm gonna continue later. Fwalalalalalalalala~

Anyway, I filled in the option form. They wanted to see the popularity for the subs. o.o So, my choices were like, Bio, Geog, FNN, Physics, Triple, DNT, Lit and Art. I mustmustmustmust take A Maths. I don't know why, but I mustmustmustmust take A Maths. Dee-dum.

I wanna change this skin man. Change it to greeen. [: Heh.
Just watched Bring It On: All Or Nothing (or is it All For Nothing?) I looove chick flicks. Mean Girls, Bring It On, Hot Chick, White Chicks and so on are all el-oh-vee-ee.
I think I'm gonna watch Secret later on! Wheeeeeeeee. Before that, we're gonna have a nicenice dinner. AND I MUST SERIOUSLY CUT DOWN LAH. I'M ALREADY A SOCIAL REJECT! RAWR.
Love, Fionella.

Like, E-Learning day was totally C-R-A-P luh.

The system got so laggy that they extended the deadline till this Sunday, 2359. I've got half a mind not to do it at all 'cuz I guess on Sunday, everyone's gonna be lagging up the bloody system again. Fwalalalalalalalala~

Abby came to my house to do Elearn but it was so screwed. Left me house and then off we were to PS. Then we had dinner at Soup Spoon! Meatless Minestrone~ Yummyyyyyy. [: Met Amd at Dhoby Ghaut. Met the rest at Kovan and we went to Hougang Mall foodcourt to finish up the Art stuff. I miss the old foodcourt so bloody much luh. No more el-cheapo and nice japanese food and no more 2.50 chicken rice. ]: Aww, this sucks. The new one is nice, but it's so pricey. Rawrr.

Went to school. Streaming talk. I'm damnnn confused right now. It's either Pure Geog or FNN. Then maybe Bio. 'Cuz for Pure Geog and FNN, I'm really interested in the career options in the future but for Bio, it's for the good of my own knowledge. Argh. I'm like bloody confused now.

Went home and THE.END.

I don't wanna tuition tomorrow morn! (And I just sent her the sms that I can't have tuition.) Tomorrow's PURE MUGGING MODE. No more joke, Fionella. THIS IS IT. You have 1 month and a couple of days to buck up and do well enough to get into your desired stream. 40% fun, 60% work. For now. (The ratio's gonna change on Monday 'cuz Monday I wanna get my Rubik's cube first. ><)

Love, Fionella.

-

I bloody hell detest the photographer for ND celebration. LIKE, HE/SHE TOOK PHOTOS AT MY FREAKING FAT ANGLE LAH. RAH. I FEEL LIKE A SOCIAL REJECT RIGHT NOW. ]:

HELLOOOO.
IT'S THURSDAY.
I don't have school in the morning. SO, IN YOUR FACE TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW MORN. BUT, I have to get my ass to school at night. STREAMING TALK. LIKE, WHAT CRAP LAH.
I don't wanna E-Learning Day. I WANT TO STAY IN SCHOOL TO STUDY! RAH. I'm weird, I know.

LALA. ABBY AND DEBBY WOULD BE COMING TO MY HOUSE TOMORROW TO DO THEIR ELEARN WITH ME. [: And we would have to do Art as well. RAHHHHH. What happen to the good ol' days of Art when everything was oh so simple?

So, ANYWAY, school was FFFFFFFF-UNNNNNN today! Why? IT WAS CLASSPHOTO TAKING TODAY! Total success baybeh. It turned out that the gayshitxzxzxz didn't even throw away his class tee. AND EVERYONE BROUGHT! Even Freesia wore it too! YAY, I LOVE ME CHAOTICS!
We were damn rowdy lah. Till the extent Charlie scolded us like nobody's business when we got back to class. WE WEREN'T CALLED THE CHAOTICS FOR NOTHING!
AND THUS SCHOOL ENDED AT 12.30 TODAY.
(Maths, Chinese, English, Art.) WHOOPIDOO! :D

LALALALALALALALALALALALALA. I'M SO DARN HIGH NOW AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.
I bid you adieu 'cuz I wanna watch telly and surf the Internet.
TATA, EARTHLINGS.
LOVE, FIONELLA.

Hello. I just did like, one an a half hours of Maths and yet I'm still at question 8. Rah. Have to chiong 'em all tomorrow then. Zzz. Didn't really follow my study schedule today because I didn't freaking thought that this freaking mensuration worksheet would take me 123456789 hours to finish. *U()*$. After this post, I'm soooo gonna do my Maths journal.

For your info, I'm not THAT into my studies this much, especially Maths. Well, I hope this sudden I-want-to-get-my-ass-on-the-chair-so-that-I-can-mugmugmug attitude would last FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER... I hope so then. MUG, FIONELLA MUG. 50(?) + more days to the EOY'S! Gotta get into Double Science, if not, FNN. I'm weird. But I like my Home Ec. (:

SCHOOL was typically school-likish? Nothing much to elaborate about lah. It's always the same. Mug,mug,mug, RECESS! And off you go to mugmugmug till at some bloody hell late hour. ZZZ.

E-Learning Day is crapola shitto. Screw the whatsoever who said that we didn't have to come to school. Yeah right. I have to get my ass to the hall on that day in the evening for streaming talk. ?!? Some talk which is inclusive of PTM. Another school-like example of killing 2 birds with 1 stone. WHOOPIDOO. My Term 3 has been rather screwed. But for like, the first time in my life, I got A1 in my Chinese test. Normally it has been stuck at B3 and I'm contented but hey, A1! English, I don't know. I think I've dropped a whole lot. Zzz. The rest is crap. Especially Science and Maths. ZZZ.

TOMORROW! There's gonna be class photo taking! CLASSTEETIME! :D But that bloody hell gayshitxzxz Aloysius threw his damn class tee away. I've got no comments man. I've already said TOOOOO much already.

MY DAD ROCKSIE DAISIES. :D He called home just now to ask my sis and I what donuts we wanted 'cuz he was queuing up for 'em at Suntec. Totally unexpected. OHME. I LOVE DADDY. (:

SOOOO, THAT'S MY DAY.
And I don't know if this may offend, but why are people making sucha big fuss about 7th month?!?! I'm not saying I don't respect the dead but some people make it seem like our departed bros and sis are here to get us or something. Come on, unless you have one heck of a guilty conscience, you shouldn't really be feeling this way right? C'MON. JUST GIVE THEM THE RESPECT THEY NEED/DESERVE AND LIVE YOUR LIFE NORMALLY. Andandand, LISTEN TO THE TABOOS YOUR SENIORS TELL YA. Half the time, they're ALWAYS true. Trust me.

LOVE, FIONELLAAA.

If only,you knew, it was all about you.

HELLO.(: I'm in school now. Supposedly supposed to do English project but left Abby and Mdy to do all the work. ><

Couldn't sleep yesterday night. But thankfully, someone called and save me. Therefore, I slept at 1 and now I'm soooo tired. Zzz. I have tuition later at 7. But thankfully I requested tuition to be only an hour long today. (:

I was almost late for school today. Zzz. Went to school with my new hair. Welllll, I got mixed comments and reactions from like, everybody. But whatever. I EL-OH-VEE-EE MY HAIR. (:
(Mdy's being a retard by wanting to type nonsense on my keyboard. She seems tired. WAKE UP! And S-M-I-L-E. :D)

Subjects was bleah. Gonna take class photos during the next 2 days.

More than words can say, baby I love you like I always do.

I think God can explain.

Hellooo friends and people from everywhere. Watched Rush Hour 3 and 881 in the span of the looong holiday. Woooo. Nice movies. (: Although RH3 isn't that good compared to RH2. But I loveee 881. Heh.

And I think Abby and I are retarded. Yesterday I was out with her, waiting for my parents to fetch us from Tanah Merah, we were observing 2 birds trying to get their beaks on to some KFC fried chicken. o.o Whenever a car came, they would run/fly to either side of the road. Funny birdies. Hahahahaha. And Abby and I was like, "Aye! Go get the chicken!", "Walau aye, stupid bird." HAHAHAHA. Doesn't sound that funny when it's said online but, WHATEVER. (:

Yeah, then went to my dad's chalet. Totally re-tar-ded. I loooooove Abby. (:

And today was weird. Weird doesn't seem the right word for it, but hell yeah it was. Went to church super under-dressed 'cuz I didn't have any mood to dress up. Blah. Ponned mass with Edna and Kim. Kim's friend came. Damn funny lah! Heh. Went to Suntec to do my dad's phone whatever 'cuz I sorta spoiled his phone. Blah. Went to Tampines. Caught 881. Dahhhh.

School's tomorrow. Ends at 2. Zzzz. TOODLES.
Love, Fionella.

Have you ever felt like a fool? I have.
Have you ever thought your existence was redundant? I have.
Have you ever thought that death could really solve all problems although you know it's not true? I have.
Have you ever thought that you'll just die sad? I have.
Have you ever thought that some or almost all your friends can't stand you? I have.
Have you ever felt immense feelings for someone and can't get over it? I have.

Going out with Debby now. Bye.
Love, Fionella.

Currently eating some ginger-peppermint sweet. Haven't eaten that in ages. Man, it's goooood. (:

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY! I'm not going out today. Wheeeeeeee. It's good 'cuz there's Harry Potter and The Goblet Of Fire later on HBO. :D Andandandandand, I'm tired. Plus, I reckon everywhere's gonna be darn bloody crowded so the best place to be is HOME. (: Heh. My sis called me at 5 in the morn just to open the sliding door 'cuz my dad locked it. Rah. Took me quite some time to fall back asleep 'cuz Sugar was getting irritating as well. Zzz.

Went to Hg Mall this afternoon. Had Ajisen for lunch and Mom went to buy her whatever sandals. I was looking for new games for my PSP but sadly, nothing. Either too expensive or nothing interesting. If there's Super Mario, I swear I'm soooo gonna get it man. My mom, sis and I LOOOOOVE Mario. Heh.

I'm soooo gonna skip tuition tomorrow. On the pretext that I'm not feeling well. Anyway, I'm feeling a lil woozy now. So yeah. TOODLES, LOVERS.
Love, Fionella.

Hey, it's been a few days since my last post. Just that, I've been rather tired and lazy to switch on my computer up to now. And yesterday was the first day of the week I came back home from school before the sunset. (Well, plus today as well.) Hoh-hum.

Today was National Day parade/concert. I was concert emcee. Anyway, people say you are always your own harshest critic. That's so true. Because frankly, I think, I suck. Yeah, totally. Although I've got a lot of reassurance from friends that I did an okay/alright/good job, but I still think I suck. I didn't do as well as I wanted myself to. Moreover, I did a bad job. I was so nervous because I didn't wanna screw up but in the end, I did. Totally. Urgh.

Caught The Simpsons Movie today. Super lame but in a good way. I was laughing like 3/4 of the entire movie. Believe me, you could even laugh at the credits part man. (: Catch it if you can, people.

I still wanna watch Rush Hour 3, 881, Secret, Alone, Disturbia...
Let's just hope I'd be able to get my ass out of the house tomorrow or seriously I'd die of boredom.
Love, Fionella.

(Someone to guide you, till the end.)

Currently listening to: Westlife's I Miss You

I can't sleep,
I just can't breathe,
when your shadow is all over me, baby.
Don't wanna be a fool in your eyes,
'Cause what we had was built on lies.

And when our love seems to fade away,
Listen to me hear what I say...

I don't wanna feel the way that I do,
I just wanna be right here with you,
I don't wanna see, see us apart,
I just wanna say it straight from my heart:
I miss you...

What would it take for you to see?
To make you understand,
that I'll always believe (always believe)
You and I can make it through,
And I still know I can't get over you.


Hellooooo. Yesterday was Shiqi's sweet 14! Went out with her and Mavis. Shopped plus girl talk. (: In the end, Shiqi's mom fetched us home 'cuz we were darn tired and our feet were torturing us. I can't wait for another date like this. (:

Today had church. Edna, Mavis and I were doing our own things during mass because we couldn't bring ourselves to listen. Went to TY's house soon after. History project. Zzz. Crapola crappy crap. At least we did something for the group lah. There's school tomorrow. I need to watch the With Hand And Heart vcd and come up with 5 questions, damn it. And I'm gonna watch Legally Blonde 2 too. (: Toodles.

Love, Fionella.

When I close my eyes,

When all seems like a dream you refuse to awake from. Skeptical, delirious, confused. All this time I still can't let go, I conclude. My mind would always rewind me back when there was me and you. Did you love me seriously before? Although the answer is obvious, I don't wanna believe anything. All I know is, I did and I don't know if I still do.
Everywhere I go, it's always you I want to see. In my thoughts mostly, it's always you. 3 months and counting. I don't wanna feel this way anymore.

it's you I see.

I'm fat. Fat. Yeah, totally. I ballooned up. Try gaining 5-6 kg out of the blue. If it's puberty, screw it. I don't care. I'm gonna do my utmost best to lose all that weight and go back to my original weight. Oh man. I'M OBESE, LIKE TOTALLY.

Caution: Stay away from this expanding life-size fat bomb. Will kill. Stay away.

Hellohello. It's been long since I posted yeah? School has been reallll hectic lately but I'm facing all of it with a positive attitude. Everything will tide over soon. (: I hope. But it will, I know.

Finally caught Harry Potter yesterday with Abby. Kinda abrupt but it didn't really affect me much since I didn't even read the book. Oh well. Got my new bag as well. Something to be happy about. (:

Watch out for National Day celebrations. I have a surprise for y'all. (: And this is partly what's making me pretty stressed with myself and school but it's all worth it. (:

I have to skip wakeboarding tomorrow. :/ Sigh. And the next session is on the 15th. My gosh. Urgh. Zzz.

Utter idiot(s) who just can kill your joy. What's with the hypocrisy man. We live to get things done and over with and here you are being so wishy-washy about it. Sometimes I really wonder what went through my thick skull. I'm feeling like a lil nitwit here who just has been fooled totally. Oh great.

Rewind?
Somehow I still miss you. My heart tells me so, how about yours? I still think you do, a lil.
Love, Fionella.

I guess this post is gonna be quite a long one.

The Shengyang students have been gone since Thursday night. I must say, I didn't really expect myself to feel this way. Their presence really changed me a lot. If not for them, I wouldn't be thinking of others more than myself. If not for them, I wouldn't even be thinking that giving is a much bigger joy than receiving.

At first, I though twinning was crap. But at the end and during the whole 1 week they were with us, they've proven me wrong. I forged a lot of friendships and learnt a lot of things I wouldn't be able to learn in a typical classroom environment. Now I can say I don't regret joining twinning although it has been real stressful and tiring. It's not everyday I can learn such lessons and thus wake up from what I used to believe in. And because of them, I've learnt how to appreciate my parents because twinning also taught me how to be responsible for myself and others.

2 more months. And I'll be able to see them again. I'm counting down the days.

Back to the normal stuff.
School has been rather relaxing lately. Relaxing seems to be a rather wrong word for now, especially when the EOY's are a mere 2 months away. But that's how I feel. Amanda and Wantian just recently started this after-school study programme for ALL the Chaotics. I'm glad to say almost half joined it. We'll be starting on Monday. We definitely can do it. Go, Chaotics. (:

I'm also currently quite into Teddy Geiger. For You I Will and Seven Days Without You. For You I Will's my current fav. 'Cuz I could fall asleep in those eyes, like a waterbed. Teddy Geiger's also a cutie and his eyes kill. (;

Does fate and life work in such a manner. I wonder.
Love, Fionella.

I realised, ever since twinning started, I didn't really had the time to update this blog of mine. Although I'm tired now, thanks to wakeboarding, I shall post. (: I really miss the feeling of my fingers pressing each letter down on my keyboard. Oh man. Remiscent moment.

I will never, ever become a PSL next year. A certain teacher dislikes/detests/hates me. (I don't know till what extent is her contempt for me.) And apparently, I don't like her as well. Because of me, I got the whole group to be in her bad books. I'm darn sorry. Anyway, that teacher? You should know who she is by now.

Wakeboarding started today. There were only 7 girls and I was the only Sec2. But thankfully, I had nice seniors. They seem relatively nice and it was fortunate of me to know Yihan. (: I thought I'd be a loner man.
Wakeboarding was.... AWESOME! :D The adrenalin. Whoo. It was wayyyy better than pool. Now I'm rather thankful I got into wakeboarding instead of pool. (: Pool and wakeboarding are the total opposite. Like, 456789 people are in pool while there are only like, 18 people in wakeboarding. No doubt it's cheaper than wakeboarding by more than 2 times, but the kick and the joy you derive from wakeboarding is a million times better than being cooped out in a place with tables. I LOVE WAKEBOARDING! :D
(I'm having terrible muscle ache though. But no pain, no gain. (;)

Twinning matters. We went to NUS yesterday for educational purposes. Yeah, it was educational but try absorbing all the information the professors give you in CHINESE. I wouldn't really understand it even if it was in English but it was in Chinese. Gah. But the Physics demo lab and the Raffles Museum was cool. (: Try levitating aluminium foil and real dead animals which are like 10cm away from you. (: They're (The China students.) gonna go off tomorrow. I'll kinda miss them though. I forged some pretty good friendships with some of them. Honestly, because of them, I've really thought more for others instead of myself. I guess it's more of a horoscope kinda thing. Cancerians have a motherly instinct. (: (Oh yeah, and because I get to skip lessons if I happen to be down for duty. XD )

I hate Macs. Thanks to twinning. Having to eat Macs 4 times in 2 weeks is an absolute sinful thing to do. I'm abstaining from Macs. Gah. No more Macs for months to come man.

That's life for me now. Nothing bad in the way which is pretty good. Hope it'd stay this way for a long, long time. :D
Love, Fionella.

20th July.
- Twinning started.
- Ice breakers.
- Made new friends.
- Buffet lunch.
- Botanical Gardens.
- RH Day fair.

21st July.
- Home visit to Daryl's house.
- Barbecue.
- Campfire.

22nd July.
- Science Centre.
- Chinatown.
- Vivo.

I'm lazy to elaborate. For the past 3 days, it has been twinningtwinningtwinning, in case you didn't notice.
Twinning = Darn stressful/ PSL-like/ Relatively okay. (For now.)
Been coming home after 10 for the past 2 days.

A lil conflict too. Too lazy to say anything about it.

Love, Fionella.

Birthday.

Today's da bombxzxzxz man. It's my birthday! Plus my dear junior,Erika. :D Enjoyed myself pretty much, or should I say I enjoyed it A LOT. Buckets, truckloads, plentiful or any adjective pertaining to many/a lot. (:

Thanks for the pressies, wishes, hugs plus smses. I saved all my birthday messages. (: I figured, if I ever felt down or whatever, these messages would be able to cheer me up. Yeah. (: Andandand, I got into WAKEBOARDING! Yahoo! Much thanks to Mr Yeo who helped me do like, everything. (: Although I was kinda bummed out when I couldn't get into pool, it's alright. WAKEBOARDING WOULD BE AWESOME. :D Such a cool birthday pressie for me today. Can't wait for the first session next Wednesday. (:

2Charity really made my day today with their uber loud birthday song for me. Oh man, I love you guys man. Yeahyeah, including those -insert word here- people. :D You guys rock man.

So I'm 14 yo. 2 more years to my first NC16 movie. (Hell yeah, I can't wait for that. Imagine the torment of being underaged when you realised that movie you have been wanting to watch since forever, is NC16.) 4 more years till I'm TOTALLY legal. Not totally, PARTIALLY LEGAL. (: And 7 more years till I'm FREEE and legal. I think far. Heh.

Love, Fionella.

Happy birthday to Fionella. Happy birthday to Fionella. Happy birthday to Fionella. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO FIONELLA! :D

'Cuz we lost it all,
Nothing lasts forever,
I'm sorry,
I can't be perfect.

Just when I thought everything was aye-okay, everything just started spiralling down, down, way down. The twinning programme shit is starting to become a regret. I shouldn't have joined it and piled more stress on myself. We did so much. And yet, what we receive back in return? Is total crap. I feel sorry for my group. I'm sorry. I'm not fit to be a leader. I didn't even give you guys anything. I didn't even do anything. It was Kenneth who did almost everything. I did nothing. I'm sorry.
Then there's school to deal with. Oh man. With teachers like Mrs Chin, that's more than enough to deter your education man. She doesn't like me, I don't like her, done. Thanks to her, I hate Science. I didn't really like it at first and just when I started liking Science, she came and diminished all the love I have for Science. Now, I just hope that I survive Science and get through the exams with a decent grade to get me into my desired stream. Screw all her bonus points and biasness. Bonus points= crap. Biasness= stupid. Ta-dah.
With that, comes emotions. Not a new thing in this blog yeah? It's new problems to deal with. New emotions. The old is gone. I don't like it now. I can't deal with it. Tell me what's wrong with society. High school never seems to end aye. All the problems, methods, ways of life stays the same. Who would ever think about what it would be like.

Now it's just too late,
And we can't go back,
I'm sorry,
I can't be perfect.

Love, you never know the minute it ends suddenly
I can’t get it to speak
Maybe if I knew all the things it took to save us
I could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me
Look in your eyes to see something about me
I’m standing on the edge and I don’t know what else to give.

I'm still feeling very tired. The next 2 weeks of my life are gonna be helluva packed one. The China kids are coming this Friday. I happen to be down for duty on that day. Botanical Gardens and then the RH Day crapola thing all the way till 8. Gah. I need my sleep. I need my sleep. I need my sleep. As stupid as it sounds, I can't sleep now. Not that I don't want to but my sister is using the effing mattress and that bloody bitch is on the effing phone now and she laughs real loudly. I took 1 hour to sleep yesterday okay. Thanks to her. Urgh. Knn. Cb. RAH.

Afer this post, I'm gonna go down and go get a cup of water then take out my contacts and try the bloody best hell of mine to fall asleep. Gah, would that bitch understand that I'M DAMN EFFING TIRED?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! This, is, crap. She never understands. Frankly, I can't wait for the bloody day that I can get my own room and sleep in peace. Great, she's rambling on to her friend about milk tea. Wtf. I'm soooo pissed now because I'm damn tired and yet I can't sleep. I can't deny that bloody fact okay. No where to sleep. What am I in this house man. I'm like, some kinda vagabond. No place of my own. This stinks. I only wish for that ohsoveryfreakassmoroniciohsofreakinghate bitch TO GET OFF THE PHONE and OFF THE MATTRESS NOW. Her lil sis needs some sleep. There. WALAU.

If I happen to be soooooooooo URGH tomorrow, don't blame me.

God god god god god, please get HER off the phone and mattress now, pretty please? I wanna sleep. And my days are gonna be so packed. The thing I want the most now is to have a good night sleep and wake up tomorrow all rejuvenated. Pleasepleasepleaseprettyplease.

(Not a lot of) Love, Fionella.

How would life be.

Hello. Told ya I'm tired. But somehow, I do not wish to switch off my computer and get my ass into bed.

There's something in my head, currently.

No, I'm not gonna blog about it. Just.. something. If you have been a loyal reader of my blog or you happen to be in the know of how's life (which happens to be going very well now.) for me now, it's not what you think it is.

Trust me. For that thing I'm thinking about, I don't know if I should be feeling this way.
I mean, I'm not saying it's not entirely impossible. It COULD happen but it may not.

Honestly, I would wish for it to happen. I wouldn't know what to expect aye?

Thinking in a more negative view, it could happen but it could be quite detrimental once everything blows over. I'm afraid of the future, yet I'm hoping for it to come as soon as possible. Pretty contradicting yeah.

God, tell me what to do yah?

I guess I'm gonna switch off my computer and NOT sleep. I wanna catch Tokyo Drift. I'm always defying my body's nature which I seriously do not know why. Hoh-hum. Ciao.
Love, Fionella.

Believe me, it took me quite a lot of patience to get into this page.

Went out with Zhiyin yesterday. (: I realised Audition is fun. Anyway, I can't play on this computer. Otherwise, it'll lag up the whole thing even more. Pentium 4, my ass. I don't even have an account in Audition. It's Shanelle's. Heh. Went to PC Bunk thrice. o.o Played once only. The other 2 times were spent with my beloved Cleo and Mavis' ipod. (: Her ipod saved me boredom man. Andandand, the second time we went back, (: Yes. That's all I'm gonna say. *wink* Walked all the way to Orchard, Far East, Heeren, Cineleisure. Financial strain. I wanna moolah. I want a whole lot of stuffs. (:

Was supposed to watch Die Hard 4.0. But backed out when we realised we wouldn't even love that show. I don't wanna waste my precious 10 bucks on a movie which I wouldn't adore or in the first place, understand. Reached home around 11.30. Slept at 1.30. Woke up at 8.

Cat class plus mass today. We were paired up with a person of the opposite sex. And once again, I got Jeremy. o.o I don't know why man. Weird activity. o.o Went for mass with Edna and Mavis. (: I was trying NOT to doze off. (Btw, at this current point of time, I'm bloody tired despire my 3 hour nap this afternoon.) Went home, had lunch, slept all the way till 4.45. Nothing much already. All I know is that I don't know if I should head down to watch Date Movie/Tokyo Drift now. Showing on HBO and Star Movies. I wanna watch! But yet, I wanna sleep. Rah.

Choir peepoes are back already! :D There's school tomorrow. I wanna tomorrow to be (: HEH.
Love, Fionella.

Break it down now I'll tell you what I feel
From the moment that I met you it's been so damn real 
My heart seems to skip another beat every time we speak 
Can't believe I feel so weak
Tell me that you really need me 

Hoh-hum. Friday the 13th. The presumed unlucky day. I never really did incur its wrath
before up till today. Urgh.

Firstly, my mom had to ruin my day early in the morning. Why? I don't really wish to
specify.
Secondly, I was almost late for school. The latest I've ever walked into those gates.
I reached school right on the dot, 7.25. Fortunately, I didn't have to run around the
field.
Thirdly, I was caught today by some Indian teacher whom I don't even know at all. She
was the first teacher ever to catch me for my skirt lenght. Not only that, she
caught me for not tucking in my shirt.

Yeah. These 3 simple things were enough to justify the horrific truth about Friday
the 13th. I was never, ever this unlucky. Well, at most, 1-2 bad things. But now? 3.
How bad can this goes man. Urgh.

Then again, I forgot most of my bad experiences thanks to the hilarious stuff my
classmates always do. (: They never fail to brighten up my day. :D

The rest of the day went normally. Nothing to ramble about. Yeah. Goodbye.
Love, Fionella.

VIP day. (: Haha. Huge success yo. We missed out a couple of lines. ): Love us please. I love y'all loads, buckets, truckloads, plentiful!

I survived my 2nd 2.30 today. Yippee.
Was AFK-ed for 10 mins. Dad got chocolate tau huay. (: Hee.
I'm definitely flunking the History test. All my sentences were short and I drew a big smiley face stickman and wrote I DON'T KNOW (: for the last question. I'll be happy enough if I get at least a two digit result.

I love softball! We could finally pitch and play the game. So hell yeah it was bloody fun. :DD

Science was dumb. As usual. ZZZ. English was fairly good. (: Mrs Tay was absent today and we had no relief. I spent like 20 mins of that time by myself standing at the parapet. Did my favourite thing of all, thinking. Something happened which really killed my emotions during History. Urgh. Yeah.

YCS after school. Packing letters. o.o Went out with some people. (Lazy to state names.) Took 113 home just because I wanted to think more. It was a darn long bus ride which I adore. Then home. Hope tomorrow would be fun yeah.

Love, Fionella.

I'm.On.The.Phone.With... (Themostirritatingpersonandyetistillloveheralot.) WONG MIN HUIIIIIII. Mah Bff. :D

I'll backtrack for the past 2 days then. Today + Sunday. Here goes.

Sunday.
Church in the early mornnnnnnnnnnn. GREEN! Live Earth. As I said, I would be all decked out in greeeen. And so I was. (: Plus Edna, Mavis, Agnes, Kim, Kevin and Lennard. Even Val and Kat were in green! Most didn't wear green. ): BUT IT'S WOKAY. (:

Cat class was hilarious. Boob smacking and outrage of modesty shit. HAHAHA. I love cat class more than ever now. (: Can't wait for con camp next year! :D

Went out with family to Raffles. (Said it already. No harm repeating. Heh.) I'm happy becauseeeeee.. I went *** shopping. Seems weird. But yeah, I did. And I love all of 'em now. Hee. Ate at Soup Spoon. Velvety Mushroom Soup. Yummyyyyyy. (:

I didn't get my Paris Hilton Just Me's collection. ): Robinsons didn't stock 'em at all. Boo. I wanted to get Lacoste's Touch Of Pink instead but I'm sooo much more in love with the Paris Hilton one. Heh. Shall check out other places then. (:

Dad fetched me to Wisma where I met my girls at Taka. Heh. Roamed around Orchard, went to PS, chilled at Starbucks and talked a whole lot. (: I love 'em lah. Serene and Veron left first so there were only Shanelle, Zhiyin and I. Went to PC Bunk and spent an hour there. Not much of a gamer although I kept on stealing games from both of 'em. Haha.

Headed to Vivo and yakked a lot. Lalala. They love me! And I love both of them too! Walked and walked. Had LJS for dinner. Went home. The bloody 113 took 1 whole big round and caused me to reach home at 11. Dad didn't kill me. Surprisingly. o.o Haha. PRAISE THE LORD!

Monday.
CHOIR PEOPLE ARE OFFFFF~ Plus Mr Yeo. Aww. I'll miss 'em so bad. ):

Today was hulahilarious lah! Stupid things happened. Don't wish to elaborate. So find my classmates' blogs if you can!

We went to the Punggol bungalow after school. Mdy, Abby, Gabby, Nicky, Joseph plus Emo. Bloody hell lah. In the end, Gabby and Joseph went in since we were freaking slow in walking. Heh. We suddenly went there because Mdm Divya was reading some article about a woman found dead around there. Then it sparked all the ghost stories, whatever and then we decided to go there. Heh.

Went to Punggol Plaza after that. Nicky went home. While the rest of us went to takeaway lunch. (All of us were starving can. We left almost immediately after school. It was 4 when we had lunch. o.o) Went to Emo's house to eat and chill. His house is nice! Natural breeze, cool view. WOW. Then the boys played Gunz and all of us talked and talked and we left at 5. 136ed with Abby then HOME-SWEET-HOME. (:

Day spent. Toodles. Ciao. Love, Fionella.

Live Earth baybeh! GREEEN for save the world. :D

I wore my green house tee and my green hairband to school this morn. Heh. At least I wore green! And tomorrow I'm going totally green. Green striped top, green army print shorts and green Converses. :D Let's hope 2hope really goes green tomorrow!

Practised for VIP today with 1Charity. Ohmygahhh. 1Charity's form teacher is so irritating please. With her shrill and freaking loud voice. Urgh. Ohmygah. I wonder how 1Cha deals with her man. Urgh. We went to the hall and practiced with the microphones. 1Cha were more mature than us. Seriously. Because we were playing around with the microphones and saying stupid stuffs in it and I was singing Makes Me Wonder. HAHAHAHA. And I was just singing "anymore, anymore!" in a out of tune voice. Zing got irritated with me. HAHA. To the extent that the AVA guy switched OFF our mikes out of a sudden because we were misuing our priviledge. HEH.

WE'RE GONNA BE UP FOR VIP ON THE 10TH OF JULY! THIS TUESDAY! AT THE HALL! YEAH BAYBEH YEAH!~

Went for lunch at KFC. Then we roamed and helped the councillors give out flyers. Now I know how it feels to get rejected. SO NOW, I'M GONNA TAKE EVERY FLYER SOMEONE GIVES ME. To let them finish their job AND to make them feel gooooood. (: Yay!

Met xxx. (She doesn't want her identity to be revealed 'cuz she's afraid her (petty) friends would find out where she really went.) Bused down to Deyi for the Deyi's Art Fiesta. NG JIN! Anyway, I love Deyi's military and symphonic band. Their formation was really impressive. No wonder they're one of the 3 top military bands in Singapore. (: Ng Jin sang REALLY well! I LOVE JINNY! :D

xxx and I went to J8. Nothing much there though. Zzz. Went home at 7. Reached home at 7.45.

Going out with my badminton peepoes tomorrow. (: Before that, out with family at Raffles City. Gah, I really hope to get what I want! Paris Hilton's Just Me perfume/lotion/shower gel set. I WANNA! My precious Escada Pacific Paradise is running out already! Seriously, I'm a person who really likes to smell good. I wouldn't spare any effort just to smell good. Hence, I'm a perfume kinda person. I love meself every morning before assembly. BECAUSE I SMELL REAL GOOD! :D Really, luh! (Not that I stink after assembly lah. It's just that the smell wouldn't be as strong after assembly. ): )

I'm getting out of hand here already. Toodles, world. (:
Love, Fionella.

Woo. Record timing for this semester. I got back home at like 2.45/3. (:

Anyway, I survived the WHOLE schooling day without my handphone. And now I realised I'm fully dependent on my phone. (Sms/music/calls.) I sorta "dropped" my phone in my dad's car seat because of this hole in my skirt. Urgh. I only realised it right after my dad drove off and I felt my pocket to feel my phone. I found out it wasn't there. I feel so lost without my phone. Seriously.

Do you know how MUCH I love 11oclock recesses? Last semester I didn't really appreciate 'em because they were so late and all of us were starving. But now, I don't starve that much and 11oclock recesses are soooo loved because THERE IS PRACTICALLY NOBODY THERE. (Okay, not practically. At most 3 classes down.) No queues, no irritating people to push you, no annoying asses to cut your queues. This is dah life man! Too bad we only get 11oclock recesses every Thursday and Friday on even weeks. Or else it's the crappy and screwed up 10/10.30 recesses AKA the timings where the canteen is packed to the brim and there are NO tables to sit at and you get groped at at times and irritating people trying to cut your queue and push you when they obviously know you've been queuing up SINCE, FOREVER!?!?!? Urgh.

The choir peeps are gonna be gone from this Monday. ): They're off to Hong Kong. I'm missing them as I type this because the next time I'm gonna see 'em is like, 2 weeks from now? :/

Home Economics, Music, Recess, History. Ended at 12.30 once again. (: Just like yesterday. Heh.

Went to 851's playground with Tamara, Ondrea, Clarissa, Nicholas and Sye Wai. I didn't really talk much because my ears were plugged into Nicholas' ipod. That brudder has nice songs man. (: And most of the songs made me think through so much. I love Nicholas' ipod! (: (I want an ipod video/ ipod nano! Saving in progress. (: ) Went home with Tammy after everything. I've got tuition later. :/ Mathematics. I can't find any graph paper to do my homework! Henceforth, I'm gonna lie to her that I left my book in school. Heh.

Kong, the person in my tagboard (I do check my taggy but I'm lazy to reply. Heh. I'm only replying to his/her comment because it's someone I don't know of.). Haha. Thanks for the compliment. (: Haha, good luck in your story! Hope to know ya or something. (:

Toodles, baybehs!
Love, Fionella.

Using the school's computer now. My whole afternoon/evening/night is TOTALLY packed. Urgh.

- 2.30 to 3 (Chinese blog, like now lah.)
- 3 to 5 (Twinning programme meeting.)
- 5 to 6/7+ (Meeting BFF I think.)
- 7.30 to 9.30 (TUITION. URGH.)

I'm damn tired now. My eyes hurt. As in tired hurt kinda thing. Zzz. Man, I've gotta get some sleep. Some asshole had to prankcall me yesterday and wake me up. And I know that asshole. Some stupid ass. THANKS A LOT FOR WAKING ME UP MAN. And then it took me 30 mins plus to fall back into my slumber once again.

Happy birthday, Zing. (:

Love, Fionella.

Read through my archives and I realised I didn't do something which I said I would do.

Fionella is gonna be a.... GU NIANG!
Seeya tomorrow, people! And then you'll no longer meet Fionella the chor-lor girl, but you'll meet FIONELLA THE GU NIANG!

Too many things in my head. This whole week has been jammed packed with so many stuff. I can't watch Transformers anymore because I have twinning programme meeting from 3-5pm. Kinda sad. But yeah. You should know which is the more important out of the both. And all those crappy tuition. What is wrong with the education system. Urgh, sheesh. I've gotta study for History and I've gotta pack my file for school. Love, Fionella.

Jenny answered a question you asked me before today. The question was, since God was so good, why did he have to create ID kids and people and people with mental and physical disorders and make them suffer? Since He was that good, why did he have to do that, you asked.

God is good, no doubt. God created these people for a reason. They're angels in their own ways. Without them, would we understand how fortunate we are to be living healthily? Would we even understand their torment? No. They're angels, not meant to be ridiculed nor despised. They taught me a lesson. I'm so fortunate and yet all the time I complain and complain. They have it a million times worst. But yet, most of them are able to face the world. They take the ridicule right smack up. They're the one we should look up to. Angels.

Love, FIonella.

If you want my future forget my past,
If you wanna get with me better make it fast,
Now don't go wasting my precious time,
Get your act together we could be just fine

Monday.
Youth day holiday so no school! (: But we didn't really had the time to slack. Group 2 of the twinning programme went to Anne's house to do our presentation stuff and research. Abby, Anne, Huibing, Daryl, Zi Hao, Kenneth and I. It's damn stupid, seriously. The slides took us only 20mins to complete and we spent 3-4 hours playing around and NOT wanting to do it. But in the end, we did. Our group got Science centre and Vivo City. NOT FAIR! I want the Sentosa and zoo/Night Safari one! Let's pray we'll be down for duty on that days. (:

Tuesday.
School resumed! PE. Softball. :/ I fell on my butt trying to do something. But in the end, it was cool. All it took was a simple laugh it off. Seriously, why must life be so stressful? Life was meant to be laidback at times. (: Oh yeah. We have a new classmate now. Freesia. (: Nice girl lah! Because she said I was nice and had cool hair. (: Awwww. She's sooo nice. Heh. I'm not being sarcastic btw. I was super high during Chinese. And then Maths. I was sleeping because I was tired and had no mood to do linear graphs. >< History was fun, as usual. (: Then our class had this stupid UNSW Maths test. Our class plus 2int had to take the test. Compulsory. Urgh. Went to YCS and we're gonna watch Transformers this Thursday! Yay to YCS! Yay to Jenny! (: Went to the space after that. Did rehearsal and lotsa stupid stuff. Went off at 6. Debs, Wantian and I went to accompany to have my tangyuan fix. Heh. Went to Popular, got my pens, HOME-SWEET-HOME!

Damn. I've gotta write the script now. Zzz. Rah. CIAO.
EL-OH-VEE-EE, FIONELLA. (:

Jay Chou's Jie Kou's on repeat mode, currently.

I'm not exactly a fan of Chinese music although 80++ songs in my iTunes are in Chinese. But really, Jay Chou's like, the one and I guess, the only, Chinese singer whom I REALLY adore. The rest are okay but they ain't enough to have me loving them like Jay Chou.

Jie Kou. It brought me back into time. Not that I'm missing the past or what, but I'm just reminiscing. Although the lyrics are pretty emotional, I'm not thinking of the bad parts. I'm thinking of the good that happened during and out of it. And looking back, I must say, I've matured a whole lot. And you were actually the one who made me so.

I never really expected myself to go through this. I mean, these few months has been reallllll ardous. I couldn't have gotten through it without my friends. But most importantly, I couldn't have gotten through it without myself. The advice they give wouldn't have fallen through if it wasn't me who decided to make that decision. And btw, that decision was a hard and cruel one for me. It took me 2 whole months. So in fact, this whole experience made me stronger.

From strangers, to acquintances, to friends, to lovers. And then we were back to the beginning. Maybe it was best we broke up pretty fast. If not, I guess I'd be so much more hurt than my initial self. So maybe everything isn't as bad if you take a look at a more positive angle. (:

Cheers to you. Cheers to all.
Love, Fionella. (:

Current music: Whatever It Takes - The Faders.

It's a glorious Sunday. Cat class resumed today. After cat, Edna and I ponned mass. :/ We didn't really felt like going. Mavis didn't even have to go at all because she had to go have LUNCH. -.- And she was so hyped up about it. o.o Duh, that's MAVIS, M-A-V-I-S, for ya. (: Anyway, three of us gossiped a wholeeeeee lot. When Mavis left, Edna and I were sorta reminiscing the primary school days and the people in our batch. Only then did I realised MOST turned ahlians/ahbengs. :/ Total pity because they were more obedient than I when we were in primary school.

Whoo hoo. 5 days by Patrick Nuo now. I like. (: Went for lunch at Heartland Mall. Then went to Cold Storage and then home. Sister asked me if I wanted to go swimming. I obliged and I didn't exactly swam a whole lot thanks to 2 lil girls who had to irritate me so much. I'm not exactly a type of person who adore such kids. If you give me 2 smiling and considerate lil girls, I wouldn't be blogging this now. The problem is, THEY'RE NOT. With all their incessant and irritating noise and 1 bloody lil girl's attitude, it was wayyyy enough. Urgh. I have such neighbours. Hurray.

Had dinner and I'm gonna go for my nightwalk laterrr. (: Love, Fionella. (:

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

I'm gonna turn 14 soon. (: Then again, it's nothing to be happy about because my birthday's a yearly affair. All I want for my birthday is NOT to be sick on my birthday itself, everyone's happiness and at least a decent number of friends remembering my birthday. Btw, I've totally given up hope on my primary school "friends" remembering it. Yeah.

Twinning thingy was fun. (: Gonna meet up on Monday for research. Zzz. Then VIP rehearsal. Super funny people lah. Haha. My day went by in a flash. Toodles. Love, Fionella.

Yesterday was hell
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me
but today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you

Time reallyyy flies. It's already the last day of the week. (: But school's not over for me YET. I've gotta go to school tomorrow at 8.30 all the way till 3. Zzz. First for the twinning programme briefing and planning and next for VIP skit rehearsal. We're gonna be up on 10th July! :D A pity the choir people wouldn't be in Singapore. :/ DNA can't perform together. ):

Assembly was dumb. I guess they just wanted something to be on. Desperate time calls for desperate measures. Mathematics was great. There was air con and best of all, lessons were only half an hour long. (: Literature was i-don't-know because I was chionging my Maths all the way. Chinese was okay. I survived. History was quick and good. Everyone was copying down the lecture notes. Time did fly. Science was blah. All presentations and one hour went pass oh-so-fast. (:

Stayed back with Amd, Gabby, Joseph-ine, Emo, Wantian and Huibing today. We were all chionging our Maths manxzxzxz. Mass copying. Heh. Stayed till 4 and then Amd, Gabby, Joseph-ine, Emo and I went to HG Mall. Champagne grape bubble tea. Such a love I didn't drink for like, 4 months?!?! Yeah, went to the library with Amd, Wantian and Huibing. Read me Seventeen. :D Amd and HB went off first. Soon later, Wt and I were off. I had tuition. Zzz. Maths. Horrific. Motion Geometry. Wtf.

Love, Fionella.

Dah. I'm bored. I'm planning to wake up darn early to chiong Maths. Somehow, I don't wish to do it now. >< I still have like, one and a half more to go. I guess I can finish it up. (:

Although lessons were bah, during Science, everything was damn hilarious lah. Was crapping with Abby, Debby, Tamara, Ondrea, Jocelyn, Clarissa, Nicholas and Brandon. The people living at the back! :D Nicholas, you horny bastard, you're damn funny, I tell you. HAHAHAHA. "Have you deflowered yet?" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I went asking that to Brandon, Nickyyyyyyyyy, Stanley and Zhao. Apparently, they didn't even understood what I was talking about. Anyway, think about it. DE-FLOWERED. Guessguessguess! You'll get it if you think a teeny weeny bit deeper. Anyway, everything at the back we talked about, or three quarters of it, WERE SUPER HORNY STUFFS. But it got most of us ROFLing LIKE CRAZY. HAHAHA. Another funny day with the Chaotics. :D And then we went back to reminiscing the primary school and started squirting each other with the Nike bottles Ondrea and Nick had. Oh yeah, I loveee Nick's correction tape. It's like a penknife thingy. I remembered I went up to him and said, "Wah, Nicholas. I really like your correction tape sia!." And then I'll proceed on pushing it up and down and he went, "NOOOO! YOU'LL SPOILT IT! DON'T PUSH!!!!" BIANGGG! DAMN FUNNY LAH!!!!!!!! Stupid NICHOLAS! And you bloody rich kid, everything about you is so branded. Adidas freako. Hahahahaha.

LOVE, US, THE, CHAOTICS. 2CHARITY2007! :D

Leprachauns.

And I'm begging you to be my escape.

My current ringtone. Be My Escape - Relient K. I've been in love with this song since Primary 6. I doubt this love will ever fade. (:

Day number 4 of the new term. And I love it still. (: SPIDERMAN! Stupid Abby. It's an instant reaction kinda thing she did okay. Her Spiderman action could just leave me laughing the shit outta of me. Hahahaha. Lessons were bah. ANDANDAND, I PASSED HAIRCHECK! WAHOO! There were girls with much neater hair than me and yet, I PASSED HAIRCHECK! :DD

Went to the chapel with the catholic kiddoes. Mr Er talked and then after 5 mins, we were off. o.o Did the freaking Mathematics revision paper in the library. I realised I could just finished ALL of the papers in ONEEEEE day. Urgh. I took 2 hours to do 3. Darn.

I FOUND 2 BUCKS IN THE LIBRARY! I took it. Yeah, I know. Stupid Sec 1 guys. Freaking noisy in the library when we were trying to do our work lah. I didn't mean the puppet show people lah, just the extra asses behind us. So this is compensation. HAH.

In the end, I used the 2bucks to treat Abby, Debby and Wantian to ice cream. 50cents cone. :D Hey, it's for a good cause since I rarely treat people because I'm always flat broke. :/

Home. And yeah. I still haven't shower. >< style="font-weight: bold;">TOODLES BAYBEH!

EL-OH-VEE-EE, FIONELLA. (:

HI IDOL!

I'm supposed to be copying down the slides for Zing. I think I'll do it later. (:

TODAY WAS HI IDOL, BAYBEH! :D Rocked, ruled, AND A TOTAL SUCCESS!
I have something to write already. Lots of appreciation to Peirong and Shirlene who provided me with some info they got. :D

Sulasteri won! (Andandand I voted for her! I wanted the Nike vouchers and SHE WAS GOOOOOD! In the end, I didn't get the vouchers. >< )

STYLES FROM BEYOND WERE SEXYSEXYHAWTHAWT! :D In terms of dance moves, looks etc. :D The red shirt one was uberlyyyy cute. (X All of 'em are cute though. Heh. ANDANDAND THE EMO CUTE GUY! The guy playing in the Teachers' Band. EMOOOOOOOOOOOOCUTIE! I LIKE! :D

Today's Eye-Candy Day, baybeh!

Lee Wei Song and George Chan came as well. They're nice peopleeeeee. (: Always smiling and all. (:

AND ABBYTAN, YOU ROCKED! YOU SAVED THE WHOLE SHOW! I LOVE YOU, GIRL! AND I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! I LOVE ABBY SOSOSOMUCH! :D

Had free food during the reception. (x Hee. Then went off to see my badminton girlies in the hall. I miss 'em so much lah. Every single one of 'em. Talked to Zhiyin a lot. I love her lah. Plus all my girlies as well. YOU GUYS CAN WIN OKAY? BELIEVE! HAVE FAITH! I LOVE YOUUU! :D

Had Science tuition. Crapped a lot with Yingbin too. (: Walked a round of Heartland. GOT LIMEEEE! (Lime has been MIA in my life for like too long already. Totally crazy man. AND TODAY I GOT LIME!) Went homeeee. :D

I EL-OH-VEE-EE TODAY! (sosososososososo much!) I would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever forget this whole day man. NEVER EVER!

EL-OH-VEE-EE, FIONELLA. (:

Yeehaaaa.

My hair's so black now, it seriously doesn't look naturally black. Trust me, it's S-U-P-E-R black. Even my previous hair colour before I dyed it cherry red wasn't this black. Although I've got a lot of stuff to say, I like it. (: And best of all, I won't get caught and yet I still have my looooovely hair. :D Killing 2 birds with 1 stone man. LOVE ME, BAYBEH!


Blogging in green. First time baybeh. Well, first times for everything. (: Anyway, lemme emphasize on today. Assembly in the hall today. VIP by Mrs Wong and Ms Michael. About ID kids. Kinda sad y'know. They're typically like us in every single way but their mind doesn't function like us. And yet they get teased and laughed at because of their mental ability. If it was me, I would already have killed myself long ago to end my suffering of this ridicule. They suffered the comments so they're pretty mentally strong to me! :D

Another shade of green, baybeh! I like. Greeeeeen. (: Had PE after that. Some briefing thingy and then we could play netball! With lotsa screaming and lotsa scoring done. FUNNNN! :D We had no Art. Mr Rizal didn't come today. So relief. SUPER HILARIOUS LAH! Yadadada~ RECESS. (Nothing much actually. We were actually FORTUNATE enough to have a table already. (: ) English. Went in late with Ondrea and Debra and then she had serious issues. I mean, it wasn't really our fault. And she has a total problem with our 'overly' responsive attitude. To her, it seemed wrong to laugh at the stupid things our classmates do. She'd just fold her arms and stand there till we shut up. Kinda URGH.

LIGHT GREEN BAYBEH! (You're so gonna strain your eyes for this, but I guess you smart asses would know how to HIGHLIGHT it. (: ) Music~ Didn't bring my music materials. We had to copy down the scores for "Tong Hua" and "Qing Fei De Yi". I like the second song because I superly LOVE Meteor Garden man. Speaking of Taiwanese dramas, there's a drama I just started watching on Saturday. On Channel 56. Ai Qing Jing Ji Yue. (I don't know the English name lahhhhh.) BLOODY NICE LAH! The guy acting as Young is soooo cute! Although I don't know what the heck is his name. -.- But yeah. He's hawt. Nice hair too. (: Heh. Yadadada~ Music was over. Then History. Had this recollection test on the Sec 1 topics. Surprisingly, I could answer like 3/4 of the paper when I have no memory of Sec 1. o.o Science was dumb. All presentations. I have no qualms over the presentations but I have issues with Mrs Chin. Urgh. Whatever, I just dislike her.

SEAFOAM GREEN, BAYBEH! (This shade of green is UGLY, but I'm just playing around with all the green. Hee.) School's out! As I said, I lived through my first 2.30. Had lunch with Abby, Debby, Zing. Then we were off to the library to complete the dumb project. Abby and Zing did most of it while Debby and I were like, sleeping group members. Figuratively. SO KUDOS TO ABBY AND ZING! They did a pretty good job. (: Received an sms from Mr Yeo after the project thing and he asked us for lunch whatsoever. We were like complete idiots waiting at the security post lah. But in the end, we still did. Had KFC with my two bitches plus Mr Yeo. Crapped a lot lah. And we only left at 7. :/ Heh. Abby and I WALKED home after everything. Yeah, WALKED. Been doing that for the past 2 days anyway. And I plan to do it everyday, 5 days a week, after school. I still haven't spent a cent on my EZ-link card. Yay me. (:

(Orange now. Heh. In between periods, damn stupid, retarded and funny. OUTRAGE OF MODESTY! HAHAHAHA. You wouldn't really get it anyway. Unless you really knew and saw what I was talking about. (: And BRANDON CONSTIPATION YEO! HAHAHAHAHA! And the comparing of Macdonalds' food stuff to our classmates. That was random. I was bored. It was English and I was bored. First time man. o.o WHAT I'VE DONE on the recorder. Coolios. (: ANDANDAND DANIEL! He's freaking funny lah. I shall keep it till here. HAHAHA. I love the Chaotics. Everyday is different, with their funny antics and humour. ROCK ON, 2CHARITY! :D I love you all bloody much. :D )


EL-OH-VEE-EE, FIONELLA. (: (Colourful day, isn't it. XD )

HAHAHAHAHA. This 2 days was already more than enough to let me get over you. HAHAHA. Frankly now, you have no meaning in my heart already. HAHAHAHAHA.

EL-OH-VEE-EE, FIONELLA. (: (Hope HI Idol would be a total sucess and I'd have something good to write! And let's hope tomorrow would ROCK like today. (:)

Second Day.

I got this ice box where my heart used to be.

Gah. My head's filled with BLACK hairdye now. Zzz. Apparently, dark brown couldn't cover my entire head and like half my head was cherry red still. o.o (And to think I wanted dark golden brown.) Damn, this is so gonna ruin my hair now. I'm so not gonna dye my hair already. Maybe after the O's and such. Never to do such a dreadful thing in the next 2 years.

Second day of school was muchmuchmuchmuchmuch better. Yeah, like a million times. I didn't get caught although teachers kept looking at me. Heh. Subjects was okay. And I survived my first 2.30! Whoo-hoo! Frankly, the timetable now is pretty sucky. Erratic timings and all. Standard timings for PE for every level. And super crowded canteen during our timings. Well, yeah. And to end it all off, we end lessons pretty late and there's only 1 self-study period.

Need to wash the hairdye in 3 mins time... And for the record, I've been reaching home around 7 for the past 2 days. I reached home at 8 yesterday. For a perfectly good reason. Project. And been having dinner with Mr Yeo too. Heh.

Anyway, tomorrow's HI IDOL! I can leave class at 9.30! But bloody hell, I have a darn article to write as well. But heck. 9.30! But before that, there's crappy Chinese. 1 AND A HALF HOURS!

Anyway, 3 mins is up. TOODLES, BAYBEH.

EL-OH-VEE-EE, FIONELLA. (:

First Day.

I'm like, still in school now. In the library currently with Abby, Debs and Zing. Debs chionging her Science and the other three of us have to do our crappy Chinese blog plus the Science project we are definitely gonna fail. (It's true anyway. We already lost 60 marks. Zzz.)

First day of school was.. okay. Sucky thing is that we had to swop classes with 2Diligence and now our class is on the 3rd floor. Imagine how sucky that would be. 1 extra flight of stairs to climb and whenever it's recess, we can't get seats anymore because our class is so darn bloody far away from the canteen. By the time we get there, the whole canteen's full. Zzz. I want our old classroom back! It's so spacious and so much nearer and it's not that sweltering in there. Urgh.

Anyway, I was caught today by Mrs Tay. Hair(style) wise. She had to pick on my spikes! And the bloody length. I admit, it's touching the collar already, but how am I supposed to tie it up when my hair's like, short and it's not like short, it's SUPER SHORT?!?! URGH. And I think I'm gonna get caught for hair(colour) as well. Damn it lah. I already dyed my hair DARK BROWN. DARK BROWN OKAY. It's like, equivalent to BLACK. Sheesh. And yet the colour's still a lil obvious. BHDo8h3wg0ghs*Y(#*&@. I think she has more things to catch about me. Urgh.

Okay. Crappy teacher(s) didn't really make my day as well. I ain't gonna state who because I'm cautious. This is, after all, a school computer. First day of school and we're already bombarded with so much shit to settle. Urgh.

Okay. Fine, I admit. First day of school wasn't really a blast. It kinda sucked. Yeah.

Love, Fionella.

Everything That I've Got.

I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till four in the morning & the tears are pouring
And I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

I should be stoned for feeling this way.
It's not directed at anybody. I'm just feeling like s h i a t. Sorry to all. Love, Fionella.

I just found out. This sucks. I'm just pretending I'm fine. I'm not.

Confusion And Aftermath.

Tonight I've fallen,
And I can't get up.
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up.
And every night I miss you,
I could just look up.
And know the stars are holding you, holding you, holding you tonight.

There are currently 4 albums I want.
- FOB's Infinity On High.
- GC's Good Morning Revival.
- Spiderman 3 OST.
- FM Static's Critically Ashamed.

Yeah. I want Spiderman 3 OST because all the songs there are original. And Signal Fire's in there. (: FM Static album is because of Tonight. Crappy imeem only has 30 seconds preview of their songs. Zzz. And their songs are pretty good too. So yeah.

Gonna colour my hair later. ): Goodbye cherry red. I'll miss you so bad.

Love, Fionella.

You are my signal fire.

In the confusion and the aftermath,
You are my signal fire,
The only resolution and the only joy,
Is the faint spark of forgiveness in your eyes.

Damn, I seriously love Signal Fire by Snow Patrol. The vid's super nice as well. (: Snow Patrol does nice songs man. (Although I just know 2 of their songs. Signal Fire and Chasing Cars. o.o But who cares, they sound cool and that's all that matters. (: ) Anyone who has the song, please send it to me. Thank you. ILY. THANKYOU NICHOLASSS WONGYYY!

Watching the vid over some lyrics webbie. :D :D I'm a happy kid. Wait, or should I say I'm listening to it. Yeah. I'm LISTENING to it, not watching it. Think I'll watch it after blogging.

Got my hair dye already. This is so gonna suck. I got dark brown which would totally look like BLACK. Yuck. I wanted the dark golden brown one but I guess it would be darn obvious so yeah. Stupid dark brown. ):

It's repeating and repeating because I'm bloody obsessed with it. Heh. The song, I mean.

Okay, now, I'm not that keen into entering campus and attending lessons in 3 days time. It would deter me from doing something I should have done a long time ago. Oh man, second time round, this is so gonna suck. This just proves I've not been using my darn 1 month well. I was supposed to use this 1 month to settle myself. (Yeah, myself.) But I didn't. Well, maybe I did but it didn't really work. I was looking into getting rid of every single bit. Seems impossible 3 days from now.

3rd time I'm listening to it. :D :D

(Btw, Nicholas sent me the song while I was blogging. Hurray. :D And nice John was a little too late. But anyway, thanks. Even though you aren't gonna read it. Heh.)

Love, Fionella.

-
So much for the holidays. I didn't even fully get over you. Nevertheless, thanks for INSULTING me. Sounds stupid thanking you for such stuff but yeah. Ty. My heart literally skipped a beat when I saw you came online. So it kinda proves, I'm still not over you. And this sucks. In 3 days, I'm gonna see your face almost everywhere I go. Whoohoo. It'd rock my world so bad.

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

My mom's suspected of having dengue. o.o But I guess it's some viral thingy because that Mom of mine doesn't eat enough to get her well-needed proteins and nutrients. (She thinks she's too fat when in actual fact, she's as skinny as a stick. Literally. She's underweight.) Mathematics tuition at 4.15. Whoo-hoo. I actually wanted to cancel tuition today but I didn't want another fiasco like 2 weeks ago man. So yeah. I've got stuff to do before school reopens 3 days later. Like, colouring back my hair and plucking my eyebrows. I think I'm gonna totally dedicate tomorrow to that business. Yeah. I've not finished the homework yet. There's English and Science. Crap lah. Having English homework's kinda stupid because Ms Chew's not our teacher anymore and we don't know who the heck's gonna mark our paper. o.o

Listening to 98.7FM now. Jet's Look What You've Done. Take my photo of the wall if it just won't sing for you. 'Cuz all that's left has gone away. And there's nothing there for you to prove.

Love, Fionella.

Fun, funneh, fun/

She's just a weirdo with no name.

Today was helluva fun. (: Went to Rachel's surprise birthday party. Super fun. (: Ate (free food.), cut cake (free dessert.) and MONOPOLY plus the accompany of my wacko friends! (free entertainment.) See, what is there NOT to be happy for. Heh.

Monopoly was fun man. Although Joseph was like super URGH when we were wanting him to sell his property. He kept on going, "I need to call my agent first, blah blah." But it was cool. Screamed, laughed and enjoyed myself at Rae's birthday surprise. (:

After Rae's thing, went to Mavis' crib to "study" (I didn't.) with Abby and Debby. And Abby had to borrow some clothes for HI Idol. Enjoyed myself there too! Lots of crapping and gossipping was done. Y'know, typical girl stuff. (: Abby and Debby left at 6.30. I stayed on to have dinner with Mavis' family. Her family is like, super cute lah! Her dad, mom and sis. Yeah, they're nice people. :D Then Mavis suddenly had the urge to go out so we went to Hougang Mall. Bought my white hairband for school. And Mavis bought a Shrek-green hairband. MRTed down to Compass Point where we chilled for like an hour until Mavis' mom called her. MRTed to Hougang where we freaking missed 112!!! Yeah, waited for like 20 mins for the darn bus. Mavis and I were praying and praying and being retarded. Then when the bus came, Mavis was "WHOO HOO! 112'S HERE!" Yeah, literally. She jumped and a lot of people were staring. But nevermind. SHE'S MAVIS, DUH. Bused home and then walked home. Reached home around 9.45.

Damn, I love this day man. Super love. (: I have tuition tomorrow. ): And school's gonna reopen in 4 days! :D Can't wait! Hee. Anyway, I shall scoot off now. EL-OH-VEE-EE, FIONELLA. (:

And I'm not missing you.

Gah. Thought it through the whole night. That dude's so effed up okay. For no rhyme or reason, HE had to call me a BUNK. Like, I ain't one at all. And how he answered was superbly S-T-U-P-I-D. "I regard such people who cut such hair as bunks." LIKE, GET A LIFE OR SOMETHING OKAY. I'm a bunk because I have darn short hair and I happen to look like a guy. HELLO. So I'm lesbian/butch just because of the hair? One of the reasons to why I did this to my hair is to show YOU I'm strong and independent. To cut off my tresses to this length was to also show YOU I don't need you buckling down on me anymore. I've wasted more than time on you. I've wasted MYSELF on you. Superficial, that's one word to describe you. Think whatever you wanna then. I'm a bunk/butch/tomboy/lesbian yadadada~ I'm not gonna rebut your words no longer because MY CONSCIENCE IS CLEARER THAN YOU EVER THINK. Why should I care anyway. It's MY life and it's MY hair and moreover, it's MY sexual orientation. Who are you should you think that I'm lesbian whatsoever? Okay, so what if I am, AIN'T IT ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS? Gah. Go take some human equality lessons here before you yadadada on with me about MY sexual orientation. I like my hair now, wthell can you do?

Total feminist now. Seriously, I can't believe I was soooooo stupid to have been waiting for such a superficial ass. I should have moved on long ago. I'm gonna show you, I'm not to be trifled with and I don't think my life needs YOU to go on. You made me stronger than before. I'm not weak like I used to be.

To you all out there, I don't hate him. Not a single bit. Although my tone sounds a bit harsh, but no. What's the point anyway. In the end, it's me who suffer the consequences. I can't put myself in such hardship anymore. It ain't worth it. Ciao. Love, Fionella.

Done with stupid Mathematics. (: Left with Science and English. Zzz. And I completed my tuition homework NOT on the day of my tuition itself! Well, I was bored, so I decided to do my tuition homework instead of my school homework. Heh. Sounds weird coming out from me though. o.o

I don't know if I should use Livejournal, Xanga or Wordpress. I'm contemplating on changing. Hmm. Give me some advice, will ya!

GC is el-oh-vee-ee. :D So is FOB. :D (Benji Madden and Pete Wentz! Sexysexysexy hawthawt!)

I'm still thinking if I should style my hair for school. I mean, I already have natural spikes so even if I don't style it, it still stands. The styling is just to define my spikes and make my hair look nicer. Or maybe I should just be more girly and wear a hairband instead. Gah, I'm confused. I.Must.Be.Girly.This.Semester.And.Forever.And.Forever. Fionella the gu niang! :D Anyway, no pictures of my new hair YET because my crappy com doesn't wanna accept my phone. ): I think I look like Gabriel. OH MY ZOD. But I still think I look better than some guys. HAHAHAHAHA. Eh, I'm serious.

The hands are up now.
Everybody's singing, everybody's moving.
They've programmed their feelings.
They're synchronizing and criticizing.
Don't feel bad keep your sadness alive.

Love it when you call, but you never call at all.

The hair thing. Gah. So much for family. Who cares. I don't have any problems with my sexual orientation. Mind you, I'm straight. My conscience is clear as ever. Anyway, this "conflict" thing would last quite a while until they get used to it. Yay. She had to say I'm gonna get laughed at when school reopen. Yahoo.That bitch had to say Clarie said it was nice because she knows it's ugly.

So my Mathematics homework are in front of me now. Gotta chiong 'em all before 1.30. The Perfect Man on Star Movies/HBO. (: After this post, I'm gonna continue with them. And do you know how difficult are they? Super. Counted in CA2. Yahoo number 2.

Anyway, I wouldn't really bother about the comments already. You people can laugh at me when school reopen for all I care. Toodles. Love, Fionella.

Walau, that evil elder sister of mine had to give a drama reaction to my new hair saying that I look like butch. Wthell lah. Making me feel so zibei already luh. Urgh.

Happy Birthday, Mummy!

Today's real fruitful but I still haven't finish all my tasks yet!!! ): <

Met BFF today. (: We were supposed to meet at 8.30 but since both of us overslept, we met at 9.30 instead in which Her Highness came at 9.50+. But it's okay. FIONELLA FORGIVES! (once again. (: ) Had breakfast with her at Macs. Then off we were to Dhoby Ghaut. I had to help my dad get his new bluetooth headset whatsoever from Samsung. Zzz. Waited for 45 mins for our turn when there were 5 people and 3 counters. Zzz.

Went to Clarke Quay. We got lost there and I talked to this old man who was actually talking on his headset. Wthell lah! I thought he was talking to me can. But he was actually on the phone. BFF and I plus the old man laughed a hell lot. HAHAHAHAHA. I seem so contradictory here. :X

Mrted down to Serangoon and walked to Serangoon Central/ Ave 2. Then ME, YOURS TRULY, THE SEXY ONE went to cut my hair. Okay, I may look like a boy now (because it's darn short and I have natural spikes now.) And I may be misunderstood of being a lesbian which I ain't. (I'm only thinking this way because I had so many people staring at me and BFF, misunderstanding us as lesbians. o.o) BUT WHATEVER. My hair's nice, light and spunky now. (: Seriously, this is the shortest I've ever snipped my hair too. Best of all, it's nice and yet it cost me only 7 bucks. Heh. You guys should really go down to Serangoon Central/ Ave 2 to cut your hair. There are like, so many salons for you to choose from and best of all, it's super affordable. (: YEAH. I'M SEXIER! :D

Went to Compass. Headed down to the library. Mugged and mugged. I did the (stupid and darn difficult) Mathematics revision papers. Now I'm left with 1 1/2 more Mathematics, 3/4 of English and the freaking Science worksheet and HALLELUJAH! (About the blog, I don't give a shit because it's Chinese. So yadadada.) Gotta chiong 'em alllllllllll by this week.

7 more days to school! Are you guys ready for Term 3/Semester 2? Btw, I'm not because I still have truckloads of stuff to do plus I've not finished the homework yet. ): I'm a sad kid. But still I'm happy lah. :D

Today's Mummy's birthday! Happy birthday to my mummykins! She's gonna watch Spider Lilies today and I had joy making fun of her watching porn. (Immature of me but it's R21 and I yearn to have my joyfix each day. (: ) I el-oh-vee-ee Mummy. (: This also marks 1 more month to my beeeeeday. Heh. Amd thought my birthday was TODAY. Girl, 1 more month! 1 more month. Heeeeeeee.

Now I'm left with.. homework chionging, weight losing (I'm gonna focus on this all year long.) and I need to get my eyebrows done!

Till then, lil girls and boys. EL-OH-VEE-EE, FIONELLA. (:

OH WAIT. DID I TELL YOU GC AND F.O.B ARE EL-OH-VEE-EE? :D

GOODMORNINGREVIVAL + INFINITYONHIGH! :D I want their albums, so bad man. I'm listening to them on imeem. Oh poor me. TOODLES! EL-OH-VEE-EE, FIONELLA. (:

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! :D

HEY HEY YOU YOU! :D
Yeah, so no more emotional rantings for now. (: I'm a happy kiddo now. Nothing unusual happened. It just came. The happiness, I mean. YAHOO!

Met Abby at 12.30 today at Hougang Mall. I'm going back there later. o.o Had LJS for lunch. Yummyyyy, and now I have a craving for Seaweed Shaker Fries which are DARN ADDICTIVE. Damn it. Anyway, cravings come and go. So yadadada~ on.

Passed her some clothes she needed for HI Idol crap. Honestly, the way they're planning this whole shit doesn't sound funky. It sounds reallyyyyy.. orderly and boring. But anyway, HI IDOL! :D

Maybe now, I should be happy to be going back to school. Well, school reopens on the 25th right? On the 27th, there's HI IDOL! And the following Friday, maybe there's gonna be Youth Day celebrations. Awesome. 2 celebrations in a week. :D FIONELLA'S A VERY HAPPY KID NOW! :D :D

TODAY'S DADDY'S DAY! I el-oh-vee-ee/hearts/loves my own daddy. (: TODAY'S DA DAY FOR ME DADDY! :D Tomorrow's Mummy's BBBBBBBBBBIRTHDAYYYYY! Yahoo! 2 celebrations in 2 days! Cartel later for dinner. (: (And maybe durian too. :D :D) FAB.

What else is there to be joyous about.. OH YEAH. I'm gonna cut my hair tomorrow! (And get on with my holiday homework which are gonna be wayyyy overdue and there's only 1 week left to chiong 'em all!) I'M HAPPY, BAYBEH, HAPPYY! Not because of the homework lah. I'M JUST H-A-P-P-Y!

Never expected this aye? Anyway, for the past week, I've been reallll emotional. So yeah. I've settled most of the shit and now I'M HAPPY! The feeling of being joyous is seriously very wonderful. :D

Till then, lovers. EL-OH-VEE-EE, FIONELLA. (:

I've thought it through.
You're gonna see what you gave up.
And you're gonna regret your decision.
I'm gonna prove it to you.

Not just any post.

Let today's post not be an emotional ranting. Let today's post be one realisation.
-
I went to church today.
Well, it's normal for me, a catholic, to be going to mass every week.
But this time, it's different.
For the past 2 weeks, I've not been a very good catholic. So yeah, you get my drift.
-
And today was Feast Day mass and the secondary 2 youths had an obligation to go and before that, there was "spiritual preparation".
At first, I remember I was telling Kim it sounded freaky or whatsoever, but I guess I was wrong after experiencing it for myself.
It was actually nothing much. It was just alone time with yourself and of course, God while some soothing music was played.
We were asked to close our eyes and think and be alone. Okay, so I did I was told. I thought about everything.
Everything ranging from the past week and everything that I've been through for the past few months or should I say, the past year.
I felt God telling me not to worry because He'll be there to catch me if I fall. I felt Him telling me don't give in, fight on and be strong.
Immediately, I felt a sense of relief. After what I've been going through for the past week, I finally felt peace and I had the strength to face every obstacle. (:
-
He'll be there, I know. I just know. (:

I love you, God. Maybe Your presence has been lingering on and off in my heart. You've always been here for me. I'm sorry. I'll try to change, I promise. I love you. (:

So long and g'night.

Seriously, it's up to you whether you wanna read the next part of the post because I'm feeling so messed up that I needed my blog to rant. Or else, it's gonna be a total waste of time. Don't say I didn't warn you. I did.


































































I don't know.
Maybe it's the PMS or maybe I'm thinking too much. (And God knows why I said I have PMS. But in fact I do. Whatever.)
Maybe I'm too weak. Maybe I seriously don't know what to do.
For the past week, all I can say and think of is, I DON'T KNOW.
-
This is like so screwed up, from the top to the bottom.
To those imbeciles and morons and freakos out there, I DID TRY.
But those attempts were futile and thus it would bring me back to square one.
And by then, I would be so confused and delirious.
-
Most of you think I'm making a mountain out of a molehill.
To be fair, maybe I am. But seriously, IT'S NOT LIKE I COULD HELP IT OKAY.
Try to think in my shoes and situtation here.
Then again, why should you when it's nothing important? I guess I'm being stupid here.
-
Gah, this is useless. I'm ranting to an online portal which wouldn't tell me what to do. Till then, suckers.

I need and want to be alone now. Apologising doesn't seem to work now, after everything I've made you go through.

I don't like how everything's going now, honestly.

There's no use looking back or wondering, how it could been now or might have been.
Lord, he needs You now and all the time. Please get him back on the right track. I can't bear to see him all messed up anymore... Frankly, I don't mind giving up my chances to be happy because I rather see him take the right side and that would be so much better than my joy. Lord, the whole world may despise him but please let him know he's wonderful and that there's always someone he can lean back on. Be there for him... please. Amen.

Maybe you're right, Alfred. Sometimes, once gone, never coming back. In the end, all I get is prolonged pain. It's gonna be 2 months soon. It was that day. Time really flies. One blink, we're over and the next blink, I'm still not over you. They had a tinge of sweetness, not too little, not too much. I can't bear to do it but I have to. To go on and walk the next step, I have to get out of that shadow I've been living in for the past 2 months. I once loved you, and although I still do, I have to let go. Our history may be splendid but I believe the future is magnificent. You did make a huge impact in my life, honestly. Without you, I couldn't have learnt stuff that I didn't know were really important. Without you, I couldn't have learnt to be dependent on myself.

Although I'm going to let go, nevertheless, I'm still going to be your angel. I don't wanna see you in trouble with the law. I don't wanna see you go on the wayward side of life. Although I do not say anything about it, and at times I condone your behaviour, but still, please know it's wrong. Someone once told me, "All things are possible, if you just believe." That's right. I'm gonna believe. Even with the tiniest glimmer of hope, I believe you'll change. Honestly, I feel you're someone deeper than who you really are. Although you don't show it and I guess you can't tell for yourself, I know it. You know it's wrong but you do not wish to do anything about it. As your friend, I'm seriously very worried on how things would turn out in your future. You deserve better. In my prayers, in my thoughts, in my hope, there would be always you. It's because I want to see the best in you.

When you fall; when you're hurt; when you're happy; when you're joyous.
I'll be there. Ily.

Love, Fionella.

I'm a fucking burden, for our future. Maybe there's gonna be that one day I'm gonna leave. Don't miss me. Oh wait. You won't.

Hey, do you know how difficult it is just to let go? Hah. And I thought I was strong. This kinda proves that I'm weak. I don't even have the strength to do what's right. I do have a mind telling me it's wrong but I still continue making the same mistake. Why? It's because I don't wanna face up to reality. Reality already came up right in front of my face but I couldn't take it. I was never this way, till you came into my life. I don't blame you or anyone. You taught me so many things that I could use in the future. If only it lasted longer. I never expected us to end this way. I'm already fortunate enough to have that friendship with you. You don't know anything now. It's gonna stay like this.

You fucking bitch. Just get over it, will ya? You're already so screwed. Why bother? It's not like, he's gonna come back. It's all the past. Get over it, slut.

I'm like so bored that I decided to retype the whole post. Stupid/weird/dumb, I know. But whatever. I'm B-O-R-E-D.

Okay, I know I'm being very boliao and stuffs like that. But yeah. I'm B-O-R-E-D. Heh.

Two weeks of the June hols has past. I'm rotting here at home 3/4 of the time but I do not wish to go back to school.
I miss my friends and classmates, no doubt about that but I do not wish to face the horror of mugging excessively.

It's the horrors, I tell you. The horrors.
Maybe I'll start on the homework chionging next week since next week is the last week of the hols. Time flies.
It's gonna be a month already. Oh well.
Anyway, what's the point of even going back when one of your favourite teachers isn't teaching you anymore? It kills. Jerry. <3

Poor me still has tuition later. Tuition = more homework. Whoopidoo. Gah, I hate Mathematics.
Deal with it, bitch. (I'll get over it.) Did I tell you I have a conscience talking to me 24/7? I love Jerry.

Random post. Gah. I am bored. Shoot me down. (Not literally because it's better to be careful of what you wish for.) Till then. Love, Fionella.