Hurt by Christina Aguilera's playing over and over again on my iTunes. I guess this is one of the stages I have to go through as a teenager. It's not BGR this time. Parents. Especially my mom.

As I press on each letter on the keyboard, my tears just flow like a tap. It's not attention I'm seeking. I'm just weak inside.

For the past 6 years, they wouldn't understand. They would just whack and scold the shit outta me. I was literally alone. Sometimes, I yearn for my childhood back. Although they weren't there three quarters of the time, they really did gave me happiness. Not with material objects but with their genuine love. When I turned 9, everything came crashing down. The world I used to live in, suddenly turned into this emotional torture I wish to escape from. Being only 9, I didn't understand why. Why did they dislike me so much? Am I really a thorn in their flesh? And this question which lingered on mostly. Am I really their flesh and blood?

As each day pass, I grew older. And slowly things took a turn for the better when I turned 12. It wasn't that good but it was enough to stop my thinking of the torture I've been going through for the past 3 years. I finally loved what I've been. It took me so long. Not 1, not 2, but 3.

It took me a lot of courage to do what I did today. Finally telling her how I really felt for the past years. It wasn't a heart to heart talk which most of you might think it is. It was a yelling bonanza. Each sentence I said, tears flowed. After 5 years, I finally confessed everything within. Now I hope she would understand. I don't want any of you to give me any tags on this and I do not wish to be asked anything about this. I don't wanna answer anything nor do I wish to say anything more about this. I blogged this out, just wanting to let you know and perhaps, letting you all learn from my experience. I admit, I'm no wise old sage. I'm only 14. Maybe some of you out there may think I'm just bullshitting a truckload of crap. I wouldn't even bother reasoning it out with you all who seem to think so because my conscience is clearer than you can ever think it would be.

It'd go away, one day. The pain would disappear. I'd really hope you'd understand.