And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

I'm gonna turn 14 soon. (: Then again, it's nothing to be happy about because my birthday's a yearly affair. All I want for my birthday is NOT to be sick on my birthday itself, everyone's happiness and at least a decent number of friends remembering my birthday. Btw, I've totally given up hope on my primary school "friends" remembering it. Yeah.

Twinning thingy was fun. (: Gonna meet up on Monday for research. Zzz. Then VIP rehearsal. Super funny people lah. Haha. My day went by in a flash. Toodles. Love, Fionella.

Yesterday was hell
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me
but today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you

Time reallyyy flies. It's already the last day of the week. (: But school's not over for me YET. I've gotta go to school tomorrow at 8.30 all the way till 3. Zzz. First for the twinning programme briefing and planning and next for VIP skit rehearsal. We're gonna be up on 10th July! :D A pity the choir people wouldn't be in Singapore. :/ DNA can't perform together. ):

Assembly was dumb. I guess they just wanted something to be on. Desperate time calls for desperate measures. Mathematics was great. There was air con and best of all, lessons were only half an hour long. (: Literature was i-don't-know because I was chionging my Maths all the way. Chinese was okay. I survived. History was quick and good. Everyone was copying down the lecture notes. Time did fly. Science was blah. All presentations and one hour went pass oh-so-fast. (:

Stayed back with Amd, Gabby, Joseph-ine, Emo, Wantian and Huibing today. We were all chionging our Maths manxzxzxz. Mass copying. Heh. Stayed till 4 and then Amd, Gabby, Joseph-ine, Emo and I went to HG Mall. Champagne grape bubble tea. Such a love I didn't drink for like, 4 months?!?! Yeah, went to the library with Amd, Wantian and Huibing. Read me Seventeen. :D Amd and HB went off first. Soon later, Wt and I were off. I had tuition. Zzz. Maths. Horrific. Motion Geometry. Wtf.

Love, Fionella.

Dah. I'm bored. I'm planning to wake up darn early to chiong Maths. Somehow, I don't wish to do it now. >< I still have like, one and a half more to go. I guess I can finish it up. (:

Although lessons were bah, during Science, everything was damn hilarious lah. Was crapping with Abby, Debby, Tamara, Ondrea, Jocelyn, Clarissa, Nicholas and Brandon. The people living at the back! :D Nicholas, you horny bastard, you're damn funny, I tell you. HAHAHAHA. "Have you deflowered yet?" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I went asking that to Brandon, Nickyyyyyyyyy, Stanley and Zhao. Apparently, they didn't even understood what I was talking about. Anyway, think about it. DE-FLOWERED. Guessguessguess! You'll get it if you think a teeny weeny bit deeper. Anyway, everything at the back we talked about, or three quarters of it, WERE SUPER HORNY STUFFS. But it got most of us ROFLing LIKE CRAZY. HAHAHA. Another funny day with the Chaotics. :D And then we went back to reminiscing the primary school and started squirting each other with the Nike bottles Ondrea and Nick had. Oh yeah, I loveee Nick's correction tape. It's like a penknife thingy. I remembered I went up to him and said, "Wah, Nicholas. I really like your correction tape sia!." And then I'll proceed on pushing it up and down and he went, "NOOOO! YOU'LL SPOILT IT! DON'T PUSH!!!!" BIANGGG! DAMN FUNNY LAH!!!!!!!! Stupid NICHOLAS! And you bloody rich kid, everything about you is so branded. Adidas freako. Hahahahaha.

LOVE, US, THE, CHAOTICS. 2CHARITY2007! :D

Leprachauns.

And I'm begging you to be my escape.

My current ringtone. Be My Escape - Relient K. I've been in love with this song since Primary 6. I doubt this love will ever fade. (:

Day number 4 of the new term. And I love it still. (: SPIDERMAN! Stupid Abby. It's an instant reaction kinda thing she did okay. Her Spiderman action could just leave me laughing the shit outta of me. Hahahaha. Lessons were bah. ANDANDAND, I PASSED HAIRCHECK! WAHOO! There were girls with much neater hair than me and yet, I PASSED HAIRCHECK! :DD

Went to the chapel with the catholic kiddoes. Mr Er talked and then after 5 mins, we were off. o.o Did the freaking Mathematics revision paper in the library. I realised I could just finished ALL of the papers in ONEEEEE day. Urgh. I took 2 hours to do 3. Darn.

I FOUND 2 BUCKS IN THE LIBRARY! I took it. Yeah, I know. Stupid Sec 1 guys. Freaking noisy in the library when we were trying to do our work lah. I didn't mean the puppet show people lah, just the extra asses behind us. So this is compensation. HAH.

In the end, I used the 2bucks to treat Abby, Debby and Wantian to ice cream. 50cents cone. :D Hey, it's for a good cause since I rarely treat people because I'm always flat broke. :/

Home. And yeah. I still haven't shower. >< style="font-weight: bold;">TOODLES BAYBEH!

EL-OH-VEE-EE, FIONELLA. (:

HI IDOL!

I'm supposed to be copying down the slides for Zing. I think I'll do it later. (:

TODAY WAS HI IDOL, BAYBEH! :D Rocked, ruled, AND A TOTAL SUCCESS!
I have something to write already. Lots of appreciation to Peirong and Shirlene who provided me with some info they got. :D

Sulasteri won! (Andandand I voted for her! I wanted the Nike vouchers and SHE WAS GOOOOOD! In the end, I didn't get the vouchers. >< )

STYLES FROM BEYOND WERE SEXYSEXYHAWTHAWT! :D In terms of dance moves, looks etc. :D The red shirt one was uberlyyyy cute. (X All of 'em are cute though. Heh. ANDANDAND THE EMO CUTE GUY! The guy playing in the Teachers' Band. EMOOOOOOOOOOOOCUTIE! I LIKE! :D

Today's Eye-Candy Day, baybeh!

Lee Wei Song and George Chan came as well. They're nice peopleeeeee. (: Always smiling and all. (:

AND ABBYTAN, YOU ROCKED! YOU SAVED THE WHOLE SHOW! I LOVE YOU, GIRL! AND I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! I LOVE ABBY SOSOSOMUCH! :D

Had free food during the reception. (x Hee. Then went off to see my badminton girlies in the hall. I miss 'em so much lah. Every single one of 'em. Talked to Zhiyin a lot. I love her lah. Plus all my girlies as well. YOU GUYS CAN WIN OKAY? BELIEVE! HAVE FAITH! I LOVE YOUUU! :D

Had Science tuition. Crapped a lot with Yingbin too. (: Walked a round of Heartland. GOT LIMEEEE! (Lime has been MIA in my life for like too long already. Totally crazy man. AND TODAY I GOT LIME!) Went homeeee. :D

I EL-OH-VEE-EE TODAY! (sosososososososo much!) I would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever forget this whole day man. NEVER EVER!

EL-OH-VEE-EE, FIONELLA. (:

Yeehaaaa.

My hair's so black now, it seriously doesn't look naturally black. Trust me, it's S-U-P-E-R black. Even my previous hair colour before I dyed it cherry red wasn't this black. Although I've got a lot of stuff to say, I like it. (: And best of all, I won't get caught and yet I still have my looooovely hair. :D Killing 2 birds with 1 stone man. LOVE ME, BAYBEH!


Blogging in green. First time baybeh. Well, first times for everything. (: Anyway, lemme emphasize on today. Assembly in the hall today. VIP by Mrs Wong and Ms Michael. About ID kids. Kinda sad y'know. They're typically like us in every single way but their mind doesn't function like us. And yet they get teased and laughed at because of their mental ability. If it was me, I would already have killed myself long ago to end my suffering of this ridicule. They suffered the comments so they're pretty mentally strong to me! :D

Another shade of green, baybeh! I like. Greeeeeen. (: Had PE after that. Some briefing thingy and then we could play netball! With lotsa screaming and lotsa scoring done. FUNNNN! :D We had no Art. Mr Rizal didn't come today. So relief. SUPER HILARIOUS LAH! Yadadada~ RECESS. (Nothing much actually. We were actually FORTUNATE enough to have a table already. (: ) English. Went in late with Ondrea and Debra and then she had serious issues. I mean, it wasn't really our fault. And she has a total problem with our 'overly' responsive attitude. To her, it seemed wrong to laugh at the stupid things our classmates do. She'd just fold her arms and stand there till we shut up. Kinda URGH.

LIGHT GREEN BAYBEH! (You're so gonna strain your eyes for this, but I guess you smart asses would know how to HIGHLIGHT it. (: ) Music~ Didn't bring my music materials. We had to copy down the scores for "Tong Hua" and "Qing Fei De Yi". I like the second song because I superly LOVE Meteor Garden man. Speaking of Taiwanese dramas, there's a drama I just started watching on Saturday. On Channel 56. Ai Qing Jing Ji Yue. (I don't know the English name lahhhhh.) BLOODY NICE LAH! The guy acting as Young is soooo cute! Although I don't know what the heck is his name. -.- But yeah. He's hawt. Nice hair too. (: Heh. Yadadada~ Music was over. Then History. Had this recollection test on the Sec 1 topics. Surprisingly, I could answer like 3/4 of the paper when I have no memory of Sec 1. o.o Science was dumb. All presentations. I have no qualms over the presentations but I have issues with Mrs Chin. Urgh. Whatever, I just dislike her.

SEAFOAM GREEN, BAYBEH! (This shade of green is UGLY, but I'm just playing around with all the green. Hee.) School's out! As I said, I lived through my first 2.30. Had lunch with Abby, Debby, Zing. Then we were off to the library to complete the dumb project. Abby and Zing did most of it while Debby and I were like, sleeping group members. Figuratively. SO KUDOS TO ABBY AND ZING! They did a pretty good job. (: Received an sms from Mr Yeo after the project thing and he asked us for lunch whatsoever. We were like complete idiots waiting at the security post lah. But in the end, we still did. Had KFC with my two bitches plus Mr Yeo. Crapped a lot lah. And we only left at 7. :/ Heh. Abby and I WALKED home after everything. Yeah, WALKED. Been doing that for the past 2 days anyway. And I plan to do it everyday, 5 days a week, after school. I still haven't spent a cent on my EZ-link card. Yay me. (:

(Orange now. Heh. In between periods, damn stupid, retarded and funny. OUTRAGE OF MODESTY! HAHAHAHA. You wouldn't really get it anyway. Unless you really knew and saw what I was talking about. (: And BRANDON CONSTIPATION YEO! HAHAHAHAHA! And the comparing of Macdonalds' food stuff to our classmates. That was random. I was bored. It was English and I was bored. First time man. o.o WHAT I'VE DONE on the recorder. Coolios. (: ANDANDAND DANIEL! He's freaking funny lah. I shall keep it till here. HAHAHA. I love the Chaotics. Everyday is different, with their funny antics and humour. ROCK ON, 2CHARITY! :D I love you all bloody much. :D )


EL-OH-VEE-EE, FIONELLA. (: (Colourful day, isn't it. XD )

HAHAHAHAHA. This 2 days was already more than enough to let me get over you. HAHAHA. Frankly now, you have no meaning in my heart already. HAHAHAHAHA.

EL-OH-VEE-EE, FIONELLA. (: (Hope HI Idol would be a total sucess and I'd have something good to write! And let's hope tomorrow would ROCK like today. (:)

Second Day.

I got this ice box where my heart used to be.

Gah. My head's filled with BLACK hairdye now. Zzz. Apparently, dark brown couldn't cover my entire head and like half my head was cherry red still. o.o (And to think I wanted dark golden brown.) Damn, this is so gonna ruin my hair now. I'm so not gonna dye my hair already. Maybe after the O's and such. Never to do such a dreadful thing in the next 2 years.

Second day of school was muchmuchmuchmuchmuch better. Yeah, like a million times. I didn't get caught although teachers kept looking at me. Heh. Subjects was okay. And I survived my first 2.30! Whoo-hoo! Frankly, the timetable now is pretty sucky. Erratic timings and all. Standard timings for PE for every level. And super crowded canteen during our timings. Well, yeah. And to end it all off, we end lessons pretty late and there's only 1 self-study period.

Need to wash the hairdye in 3 mins time... And for the record, I've been reaching home around 7 for the past 2 days. I reached home at 8 yesterday. For a perfectly good reason. Project. And been having dinner with Mr Yeo too. Heh.

Anyway, tomorrow's HI IDOL! I can leave class at 9.30! But bloody hell, I have a darn article to write as well. But heck. 9.30! But before that, there's crappy Chinese. 1 AND A HALF HOURS!

Anyway, 3 mins is up. TOODLES, BAYBEH.

EL-OH-VEE-EE, FIONELLA. (:

First Day.

I'm like, still in school now. In the library currently with Abby, Debs and Zing. Debs chionging her Science and the other three of us have to do our crappy Chinese blog plus the Science project we are definitely gonna fail. (It's true anyway. We already lost 60 marks. Zzz.)

First day of school was.. okay. Sucky thing is that we had to swop classes with 2Diligence and now our class is on the 3rd floor. Imagine how sucky that would be. 1 extra flight of stairs to climb and whenever it's recess, we can't get seats anymore because our class is so darn bloody far away from the canteen. By the time we get there, the whole canteen's full. Zzz. I want our old classroom back! It's so spacious and so much nearer and it's not that sweltering in there. Urgh.

Anyway, I was caught today by Mrs Tay. Hair(style) wise. She had to pick on my spikes! And the bloody length. I admit, it's touching the collar already, but how am I supposed to tie it up when my hair's like, short and it's not like short, it's SUPER SHORT?!?! URGH. And I think I'm gonna get caught for hair(colour) as well. Damn it lah. I already dyed my hair DARK BROWN. DARK BROWN OKAY. It's like, equivalent to BLACK. Sheesh. And yet the colour's still a lil obvious. BHDo8h3wg0ghs*Y(#*&@. I think she has more things to catch about me. Urgh.

Okay. Crappy teacher(s) didn't really make my day as well. I ain't gonna state who because I'm cautious. This is, after all, a school computer. First day of school and we're already bombarded with so much shit to settle. Urgh.

Okay. Fine, I admit. First day of school wasn't really a blast. It kinda sucked. Yeah.

Love, Fionella.

Everything That I've Got.

I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till four in the morning & the tears are pouring
And I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

I should be stoned for feeling this way.
It's not directed at anybody. I'm just feeling like s h i a t. Sorry to all. Love, Fionella.

I just found out. This sucks. I'm just pretending I'm fine. I'm not.

Confusion And Aftermath.

Tonight I've fallen,
And I can't get up.
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up.
And every night I miss you,
I could just look up.
And know the stars are holding you, holding you, holding you tonight.

There are currently 4 albums I want.
- FOB's Infinity On High.
- GC's Good Morning Revival.
- Spiderman 3 OST.
- FM Static's Critically Ashamed.

Yeah. I want Spiderman 3 OST because all the songs there are original. And Signal Fire's in there. (: FM Static album is because of Tonight. Crappy imeem only has 30 seconds preview of their songs. Zzz. And their songs are pretty good too. So yeah.

Gonna colour my hair later. ): Goodbye cherry red. I'll miss you so bad.

Love, Fionella.

You are my signal fire.

In the confusion and the aftermath,
You are my signal fire,
The only resolution and the only joy,
Is the faint spark of forgiveness in your eyes.

Damn, I seriously love Signal Fire by Snow Patrol. The vid's super nice as well. (: Snow Patrol does nice songs man. (Although I just know 2 of their songs. Signal Fire and Chasing Cars. o.o But who cares, they sound cool and that's all that matters. (: ) Anyone who has the song, please send it to me. Thank you. ILY. THANKYOU NICHOLASSS WONGYYY!

Watching the vid over some lyrics webbie. :D :D I'm a happy kid. Wait, or should I say I'm listening to it. Yeah. I'm LISTENING to it, not watching it. Think I'll watch it after blogging.

Got my hair dye already. This is so gonna suck. I got dark brown which would totally look like BLACK. Yuck. I wanted the dark golden brown one but I guess it would be darn obvious so yeah. Stupid dark brown. ):

It's repeating and repeating because I'm bloody obsessed with it. Heh. The song, I mean.

Okay, now, I'm not that keen into entering campus and attending lessons in 3 days time. It would deter me from doing something I should have done a long time ago. Oh man, second time round, this is so gonna suck. This just proves I've not been using my darn 1 month well. I was supposed to use this 1 month to settle myself. (Yeah, myself.) But I didn't. Well, maybe I did but it didn't really work. I was looking into getting rid of every single bit. Seems impossible 3 days from now.

3rd time I'm listening to it. :D :D

(Btw, Nicholas sent me the song while I was blogging. Hurray. :D And nice John was a little too late. But anyway, thanks. Even though you aren't gonna read it. Heh.)

Love, Fionella.

-
So much for the holidays. I didn't even fully get over you. Nevertheless, thanks for INSULTING me. Sounds stupid thanking you for such stuff but yeah. Ty. My heart literally skipped a beat when I saw you came online. So it kinda proves, I'm still not over you. And this sucks. In 3 days, I'm gonna see your face almost everywhere I go. Whoohoo. It'd rock my world so bad.

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

My mom's suspected of having dengue. o.o But I guess it's some viral thingy because that Mom of mine doesn't eat enough to get her well-needed proteins and nutrients. (She thinks she's too fat when in actual fact, she's as skinny as a stick. Literally. She's underweight.) Mathematics tuition at 4.15. Whoo-hoo. I actually wanted to cancel tuition today but I didn't want another fiasco like 2 weeks ago man. So yeah. I've got stuff to do before school reopens 3 days later. Like, colouring back my hair and plucking my eyebrows. I think I'm gonna totally dedicate tomorrow to that business. Yeah. I've not finished the homework yet. There's English and Science. Crap lah. Having English homework's kinda stupid because Ms Chew's not our teacher anymore and we don't know who the heck's gonna mark our paper. o.o

Listening to 98.7FM now. Jet's Look What You've Done. Take my photo of the wall if it just won't sing for you. 'Cuz all that's left has gone away. And there's nothing there for you to prove.

Love, Fionella.

Fun, funneh, fun/

She's just a weirdo with no name.

Today was helluva fun. (: Went to Rachel's surprise birthday party. Super fun. (: Ate (free food.), cut cake (free dessert.) and MONOPOLY plus the accompany of my wacko friends! (free entertainment.) See, what is there NOT to be happy for. Heh.

Monopoly was fun man. Although Joseph was like super URGH when we were wanting him to sell his property. He kept on going, "I need to call my agent first, blah blah." But it was cool. Screamed, laughed and enjoyed myself at Rae's birthday surprise. (:

After Rae's thing, went to Mavis' crib to "study" (I didn't.) with Abby and Debby. And Abby had to borrow some clothes for HI Idol. Enjoyed myself there too! Lots of crapping and gossipping was done. Y'know, typical girl stuff. (: Abby and Debby left at 6.30. I stayed on to have dinner with Mavis' family. Her family is like, super cute lah! Her dad, mom and sis. Yeah, they're nice people. :D Then Mavis suddenly had the urge to go out so we went to Hougang Mall. Bought my white hairband for school. And Mavis bought a Shrek-green hairband. MRTed down to Compass Point where we chilled for like an hour until Mavis' mom called her. MRTed to Hougang where we freaking missed 112!!! Yeah, waited for like 20 mins for the darn bus. Mavis and I were praying and praying and being retarded. Then when the bus came, Mavis was "WHOO HOO! 112'S HERE!" Yeah, literally. She jumped and a lot of people were staring. But nevermind. SHE'S MAVIS, DUH. Bused home and then walked home. Reached home around 9.45.

Damn, I love this day man. Super love. (: I have tuition tomorrow. ): And school's gonna reopen in 4 days! :D Can't wait! Hee. Anyway, I shall scoot off now. EL-OH-VEE-EE, FIONELLA. (:

And I'm not missing you.

Gah. Thought it through the whole night. That dude's so effed up okay. For no rhyme or reason, HE had to call me a BUNK. Like, I ain't one at all. And how he answered was superbly S-T-U-P-I-D. "I regard such people who cut such hair as bunks." LIKE, GET A LIFE OR SOMETHING OKAY. I'm a bunk because I have darn short hair and I happen to look like a guy. HELLO. So I'm lesbian/butch just because of the hair? One of the reasons to why I did this to my hair is to show YOU I'm strong and independent. To cut off my tresses to this length was to also show YOU I don't need you buckling down on me anymore. I've wasted more than time on you. I've wasted MYSELF on you. Superficial, that's one word to describe you. Think whatever you wanna then. I'm a bunk/butch/tomboy/lesbian yadadada~ I'm not gonna rebut your words no longer because MY CONSCIENCE IS CLEARER THAN YOU EVER THINK. Why should I care anyway. It's MY life and it's MY hair and moreover, it's MY sexual orientation. Who are you should you think that I'm lesbian whatsoever? Okay, so what if I am, AIN'T IT ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS? Gah. Go take some human equality lessons here before you yadadada on with me about MY sexual orientation. I like my hair now, wthell can you do?

Total feminist now. Seriously, I can't believe I was soooooo stupid to have been waiting for such a superficial ass. I should have moved on long ago. I'm gonna show you, I'm not to be trifled with and I don't think my life needs YOU to go on. You made me stronger than before. I'm not weak like I used to be.

To you all out there, I don't hate him. Not a single bit. Although my tone sounds a bit harsh, but no. What's the point anyway. In the end, it's me who suffer the consequences. I can't put myself in such hardship anymore. It ain't worth it. Ciao. Love, Fionella.

Done with stupid Mathematics. (: Left with Science and English. Zzz. And I completed my tuition homework NOT on the day of my tuition itself! Well, I was bored, so I decided to do my tuition homework instead of my school homework. Heh. Sounds weird coming out from me though. o.o

I don't know if I should use Livejournal, Xanga or Wordpress. I'm contemplating on changing. Hmm. Give me some advice, will ya!

GC is el-oh-vee-ee. :D So is FOB. :D (Benji Madden and Pete Wentz! Sexysexysexy hawthawt!)

I'm still thinking if I should style my hair for school. I mean, I already have natural spikes so even if I don't style it, it still stands. The styling is just to define my spikes and make my hair look nicer. Or maybe I should just be more girly and wear a hairband instead. Gah, I'm confused. I.Must.Be.Girly.This.Semester.And.Forever.And.Forever. Fionella the gu niang! :D Anyway, no pictures of my new hair YET because my crappy com doesn't wanna accept my phone. ): I think I look like Gabriel. OH MY ZOD. But I still think I look better than some guys. HAHAHAHAHA. Eh, I'm serious.

The hands are up now.
Everybody's singing, everybody's moving.
They've programmed their feelings.
They're synchronizing and criticizing.
Don't feel bad keep your sadness alive.

Love it when you call, but you never call at all.

The hair thing. Gah. So much for family. Who cares. I don't have any problems with my sexual orientation. Mind you, I'm straight. My conscience is clear as ever. Anyway, this "conflict" thing would last quite a while until they get used to it. Yay. She had to say I'm gonna get laughed at when school reopen. Yahoo.That bitch had to say Clarie said it was nice because she knows it's ugly.

So my Mathematics homework are in front of me now. Gotta chiong 'em all before 1.30. The Perfect Man on Star Movies/HBO. (: After this post, I'm gonna continue with them. And do you know how difficult are they? Super. Counted in CA2. Yahoo number 2.

Anyway, I wouldn't really bother about the comments already. You people can laugh at me when school reopen for all I care. Toodles. Love, Fionella.

Walau, that evil elder sister of mine had to give a drama reaction to my new hair saying that I look like butch. Wthell lah. Making me feel so zibei already luh. Urgh.

Happy Birthday, Mummy!

Today's real fruitful but I still haven't finish all my tasks yet!!! ): <

Met BFF today. (: We were supposed to meet at 8.30 but since both of us overslept, we met at 9.30 instead in which Her Highness came at 9.50+. But it's okay. FIONELLA FORGIVES! (once again. (: ) Had breakfast with her at Macs. Then off we were to Dhoby Ghaut. I had to help my dad get his new bluetooth headset whatsoever from Samsung. Zzz. Waited for 45 mins for our turn when there were 5 people and 3 counters. Zzz.

Went to Clarke Quay. We got lost there and I talked to this old man who was actually talking on his headset. Wthell lah! I thought he was talking to me can. But he was actually on the phone. BFF and I plus the old man laughed a hell lot. HAHAHAHAHA. I seem so contradictory here. :X

Mrted down to Serangoon and walked to Serangoon Central/ Ave 2. Then ME, YOURS TRULY, THE SEXY ONE went to cut my hair. Okay, I may look like a boy now (because it's darn short and I have natural spikes now.) And I may be misunderstood of being a lesbian which I ain't. (I'm only thinking this way because I had so many people staring at me and BFF, misunderstanding us as lesbians. o.o) BUT WHATEVER. My hair's nice, light and spunky now. (: Seriously, this is the shortest I've ever snipped my hair too. Best of all, it's nice and yet it cost me only 7 bucks. Heh. You guys should really go down to Serangoon Central/ Ave 2 to cut your hair. There are like, so many salons for you to choose from and best of all, it's super affordable. (: YEAH. I'M SEXIER! :D

Went to Compass. Headed down to the library. Mugged and mugged. I did the (stupid and darn difficult) Mathematics revision papers. Now I'm left with 1 1/2 more Mathematics, 3/4 of English and the freaking Science worksheet and HALLELUJAH! (About the blog, I don't give a shit because it's Chinese. So yadadada.) Gotta chiong 'em alllllllllll by this week.

7 more days to school! Are you guys ready for Term 3/Semester 2? Btw, I'm not because I still have truckloads of stuff to do plus I've not finished the homework yet. ): I'm a sad kid. But still I'm happy lah. :D

Today's Mummy's birthday! Happy birthday to my mummykins! She's gonna watch Spider Lilies today and I had joy making fun of her watching porn. (Immature of me but it's R21 and I yearn to have my joyfix each day. (: ) I el-oh-vee-ee Mummy. (: This also marks 1 more month to my beeeeeday. Heh. Amd thought my birthday was TODAY. Girl, 1 more month! 1 more month. Heeeeeeee.

Now I'm left with.. homework chionging, weight losing (I'm gonna focus on this all year long.) and I need to get my eyebrows done!

Till then, lil girls and boys. EL-OH-VEE-EE, FIONELLA. (:

OH WAIT. DID I TELL YOU GC AND F.O.B ARE EL-OH-VEE-EE? :D

GOODMORNINGREVIVAL + INFINITYONHIGH! :D I want their albums, so bad man. I'm listening to them on imeem. Oh poor me. TOODLES! EL-OH-VEE-EE, FIONELLA. (:

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! :D

HEY HEY YOU YOU! :D
Yeah, so no more emotional rantings for now. (: I'm a happy kiddo now. Nothing unusual happened. It just came. The happiness, I mean. YAHOO!

Met Abby at 12.30 today at Hougang Mall. I'm going back there later. o.o Had LJS for lunch. Yummyyyy, and now I have a craving for Seaweed Shaker Fries which are DARN ADDICTIVE. Damn it. Anyway, cravings come and go. So yadadada~ on.

Passed her some clothes she needed for HI Idol crap. Honestly, the way they're planning this whole shit doesn't sound funky. It sounds reallyyyyy.. orderly and boring. But anyway, HI IDOL! :D

Maybe now, I should be happy to be going back to school. Well, school reopens on the 25th right? On the 27th, there's HI IDOL! And the following Friday, maybe there's gonna be Youth Day celebrations. Awesome. 2 celebrations in a week. :D FIONELLA'S A VERY HAPPY KID NOW! :D :D

TODAY'S DADDY'S DAY! I el-oh-vee-ee/hearts/loves my own daddy. (: TODAY'S DA DAY FOR ME DADDY! :D Tomorrow's Mummy's BBBBBBBBBBIRTHDAYYYYY! Yahoo! 2 celebrations in 2 days! Cartel later for dinner. (: (And maybe durian too. :D :D) FAB.

What else is there to be joyous about.. OH YEAH. I'm gonna cut my hair tomorrow! (And get on with my holiday homework which are gonna be wayyyy overdue and there's only 1 week left to chiong 'em all!) I'M HAPPY, BAYBEH, HAPPYY! Not because of the homework lah. I'M JUST H-A-P-P-Y!

Never expected this aye? Anyway, for the past week, I've been reallll emotional. So yeah. I've settled most of the shit and now I'M HAPPY! The feeling of being joyous is seriously very wonderful. :D

Till then, lovers. EL-OH-VEE-EE, FIONELLA. (:

I've thought it through.
You're gonna see what you gave up.
And you're gonna regret your decision.
I'm gonna prove it to you.

Not just any post.

Let today's post not be an emotional ranting. Let today's post be one realisation.
-
I went to church today.
Well, it's normal for me, a catholic, to be going to mass every week.
But this time, it's different.
For the past 2 weeks, I've not been a very good catholic. So yeah, you get my drift.
-
And today was Feast Day mass and the secondary 2 youths had an obligation to go and before that, there was "spiritual preparation".
At first, I remember I was telling Kim it sounded freaky or whatsoever, but I guess I was wrong after experiencing it for myself.
It was actually nothing much. It was just alone time with yourself and of course, God while some soothing music was played.
We were asked to close our eyes and think and be alone. Okay, so I did I was told. I thought about everything.
Everything ranging from the past week and everything that I've been through for the past few months or should I say, the past year.
I felt God telling me not to worry because He'll be there to catch me if I fall. I felt Him telling me don't give in, fight on and be strong.
Immediately, I felt a sense of relief. After what I've been going through for the past week, I finally felt peace and I had the strength to face every obstacle. (:
-
He'll be there, I know. I just know. (:

I love you, God. Maybe Your presence has been lingering on and off in my heart. You've always been here for me. I'm sorry. I'll try to change, I promise. I love you. (:

So long and g'night.

Seriously, it's up to you whether you wanna read the next part of the post because I'm feeling so messed up that I needed my blog to rant. Or else, it's gonna be a total waste of time. Don't say I didn't warn you. I did.


































































I don't know.
Maybe it's the PMS or maybe I'm thinking too much. (And God knows why I said I have PMS. But in fact I do. Whatever.)
Maybe I'm too weak. Maybe I seriously don't know what to do.
For the past week, all I can say and think of is, I DON'T KNOW.
-
This is like so screwed up, from the top to the bottom.
To those imbeciles and morons and freakos out there, I DID TRY.
But those attempts were futile and thus it would bring me back to square one.
And by then, I would be so confused and delirious.
-
Most of you think I'm making a mountain out of a molehill.
To be fair, maybe I am. But seriously, IT'S NOT LIKE I COULD HELP IT OKAY.
Try to think in my shoes and situtation here.
Then again, why should you when it's nothing important? I guess I'm being stupid here.
-
Gah, this is useless. I'm ranting to an online portal which wouldn't tell me what to do. Till then, suckers.

I need and want to be alone now. Apologising doesn't seem to work now, after everything I've made you go through.

I don't like how everything's going now, honestly.

There's no use looking back or wondering, how it could been now or might have been.
Lord, he needs You now and all the time. Please get him back on the right track. I can't bear to see him all messed up anymore... Frankly, I don't mind giving up my chances to be happy because I rather see him take the right side and that would be so much better than my joy. Lord, the whole world may despise him but please let him know he's wonderful and that there's always someone he can lean back on. Be there for him... please. Amen.

Maybe you're right, Alfred. Sometimes, once gone, never coming back. In the end, all I get is prolonged pain. It's gonna be 2 months soon. It was that day. Time really flies. One blink, we're over and the next blink, I'm still not over you. They had a tinge of sweetness, not too little, not too much. I can't bear to do it but I have to. To go on and walk the next step, I have to get out of that shadow I've been living in for the past 2 months. I once loved you, and although I still do, I have to let go. Our history may be splendid but I believe the future is magnificent. You did make a huge impact in my life, honestly. Without you, I couldn't have learnt stuff that I didn't know were really important. Without you, I couldn't have learnt to be dependent on myself.

Although I'm going to let go, nevertheless, I'm still going to be your angel. I don't wanna see you in trouble with the law. I don't wanna see you go on the wayward side of life. Although I do not say anything about it, and at times I condone your behaviour, but still, please know it's wrong. Someone once told me, "All things are possible, if you just believe." That's right. I'm gonna believe. Even with the tiniest glimmer of hope, I believe you'll change. Honestly, I feel you're someone deeper than who you really are. Although you don't show it and I guess you can't tell for yourself, I know it. You know it's wrong but you do not wish to do anything about it. As your friend, I'm seriously very worried on how things would turn out in your future. You deserve better. In my prayers, in my thoughts, in my hope, there would be always you. It's because I want to see the best in you.

When you fall; when you're hurt; when you're happy; when you're joyous.
I'll be there. Ily.

Love, Fionella.

I'm a fucking burden, for our future. Maybe there's gonna be that one day I'm gonna leave. Don't miss me. Oh wait. You won't.

Hey, do you know how difficult it is just to let go? Hah. And I thought I was strong. This kinda proves that I'm weak. I don't even have the strength to do what's right. I do have a mind telling me it's wrong but I still continue making the same mistake. Why? It's because I don't wanna face up to reality. Reality already came up right in front of my face but I couldn't take it. I was never this way, till you came into my life. I don't blame you or anyone. You taught me so many things that I could use in the future. If only it lasted longer. I never expected us to end this way. I'm already fortunate enough to have that friendship with you. You don't know anything now. It's gonna stay like this.

You fucking bitch. Just get over it, will ya? You're already so screwed. Why bother? It's not like, he's gonna come back. It's all the past. Get over it, slut.

I'm like so bored that I decided to retype the whole post. Stupid/weird/dumb, I know. But whatever. I'm B-O-R-E-D.

Okay, I know I'm being very boliao and stuffs like that. But yeah. I'm B-O-R-E-D. Heh.

Two weeks of the June hols has past. I'm rotting here at home 3/4 of the time but I do not wish to go back to school.
I miss my friends and classmates, no doubt about that but I do not wish to face the horror of mugging excessively.

It's the horrors, I tell you. The horrors.
Maybe I'll start on the homework chionging next week since next week is the last week of the hols. Time flies.
It's gonna be a month already. Oh well.
Anyway, what's the point of even going back when one of your favourite teachers isn't teaching you anymore? It kills. Jerry. <3

Poor me still has tuition later. Tuition = more homework. Whoopidoo. Gah, I hate Mathematics.
Deal with it, bitch. (I'll get over it.) Did I tell you I have a conscience talking to me 24/7? I love Jerry.

Random post. Gah. I am bored. Shoot me down. (Not literally because it's better to be careful of what you wish for.) Till then. Love, Fionella.

MSN's always being the big bitch it has always been. Disconnecting me whenever I wanna change my display name. Sheesh. My MSN is like, half-screwed. Urgh.

I'm back to square one from where I first started. Some of you may get it, some of you don't. If you don't, I advise you, don't bother trying. Well, seriously I don't know whether it's right. I'll deal with it, I guess. It kinda kills, seriously.

I'm feeling like some total bitch right now. Till then. Love, Fionella.

I deleted my previous entry. Clarissa Wong Min Hui. That girl huh. Wahaha. I did my night walk again. Scarier than before luh. And that two idiots I was talking to yesterday still had the cheek to laugh at me because I screamed when the stupid dog barked at me and when I almost fell. ): When I was ever so nice to help one of the idiots check his lion dance truck whatever when it was so dark and no cars drove past. Fionella forgives! Stupid to forget because I have a mind. Heh.

But heck. I'm still doing my walk today/tonight. (: Maybe I'm gonna take a different route. Haha. I wanna go to the playgrounddddddddd~ :D :D For the past few days, my posts have been rather random. Lalala. Super random. Anyway, I need retail therapy. Quite impossible now because I'm held back by the fact that I'm B-R-O-K-E. Not a single cent to my name. Not literally because I still have like, 2 bucks or so. And 2 bucks ain't even enough to buy anything except for simple ear studs for school. ): I seem sooo pathethic. I want Havaianas! I need 40 ol' buckeroos for 'em. Scrimp and save when school reopens, Fionella! My green/black/white/blue Havaianas! Mommy's coming for you soooooon! Why must retail therapy be so expensive... But then again, it's a material world you and I both live in. Yeah, deal with it.

17 more days till school reopens. Time flies yeah. And my homework's half done. o.o Gonna chiong 'em all on the last two weeks or so. (: Heh.

I think I'm gonna find some VCD's to watch or I guess I'd be spending all my time in front of the computer which is soo not healthy in my perspective. Yeah. Gah. I must go out next week already!!!!!!!!!!! I don't even mind heartland places please. Just need to get out of my house! Rah. Havaianas!

I'm effing high now, btw. :D Heh. Shall scoot away now. Toodles~

Love, Fionella.

QUIZ + post.

1.What color is your phone? Black.
2. Who's the first person who comes up under the letter M? Marie.
3. Who's the last person you called? None. o.o
4. Who was your last missed call from? None. o.o
5. Who's the 2nd person who comes up under D? Daddy-ooooo.
6. Who's speed dial 2? No one.
7. Who's the 3rd person who comes up under J? Jasmine.
8. Who was your last received call from? Home.
9. Who's speed dial number 4? No one.
10. What is your theme? Orbit. (I like. (: )
11. How many text messages are currently in your inbox? >100.
12. Who's speed dial #3? No one.
13. What does the 5th message say in your inbox? WynKHeng: Uhh (o.o)
14. Who's the 1st person who comes up under B? Benji Yong. Heh.
15. Who was your last text messagefrom? Tutor. Zzz.
16. Name every person you have textmessages yesterday? Wyn, Clarissa, Abby, Debby, Blah.
17. Have you seen the 101 Chuck Norrisfacts? No. Don't wish to know and don't wish to find out.
18. Who's the 9th person on yourmissed calls? No one.
19. What does the 6th messagein your inbox say? Clarieeeee; Where are you?
20. Who is the first name in your phonebook? Abby Tan. Heh.
21. Who is the last name in your phonebook? : Zing.
22. Do you have a camera phone? Duh.
23. Who is the last person under G? Guanling.
24. What does the last text message say in your inbox? WynKHeng: Loll i watched it like how many million times liao.
25. Who is the second person under K? Kat.
26. What is your ringtone? Over My Head - Sum 41.
27. What kind of cellphone do you have? Sony Ericsson.

Okay. So I was bored. Got it from some random blog. Went swimming in the morn with Debby. (: Lala. I'm gonna be home the whole day. Guess I'm gonna watch DVDs or VCDs mostly. Heh. I watched Shrek 3 yesterday (!!!!) With Debby and Abby. Omgosh lah. Dragon.donkey.babies are like the MOST, EFFINGEST, CUTEST THINGSSSSSSSS! :D :D Freaking pumps gave me blisters though. Bah. Three of us looked so girlie yesterday. Gu niangs of the world! Hahahahahahahahahaha. Toodles~

Love, Fionella Wentz Foo (loves DDB a lot.) :D

Easy come, easy go.

I guess I'm feeling much better now. Much, much better. (: It answers the tagboard. Went out to study with BFF today. I must say, I did study. But it was all the usual shit. (Doing all my homework and all.) I must strive to finish everything before the holidays end man. And I still have one effed up cheena blog to create and maintain. One word: Screwed.

Went jogging in the morn and swimming in the evening. Yay. (: Stick to it, I will. Heh.

Love, Fionella.

Hurt by Christina Aguilera's playing over and over again on my iTunes. I guess this is one of the stages I have to go through as a teenager. It's not BGR this time. Parents. Especially my mom.

As I press on each letter on the keyboard, my tears just flow like a tap. It's not attention I'm seeking. I'm just weak inside.

For the past 6 years, they wouldn't understand. They would just whack and scold the shit outta me. I was literally alone. Sometimes, I yearn for my childhood back. Although they weren't there three quarters of the time, they really did gave me happiness. Not with material objects but with their genuine love. When I turned 9, everything came crashing down. The world I used to live in, suddenly turned into this emotional torture I wish to escape from. Being only 9, I didn't understand why. Why did they dislike me so much? Am I really a thorn in their flesh? And this question which lingered on mostly. Am I really their flesh and blood?

As each day pass, I grew older. And slowly things took a turn for the better when I turned 12. It wasn't that good but it was enough to stop my thinking of the torture I've been going through for the past 3 years. I finally loved what I've been. It took me so long. Not 1, not 2, but 3.

It took me a lot of courage to do what I did today. Finally telling her how I really felt for the past years. It wasn't a heart to heart talk which most of you might think it is. It was a yelling bonanza. Each sentence I said, tears flowed. After 5 years, I finally confessed everything within. Now I hope she would understand. I don't want any of you to give me any tags on this and I do not wish to be asked anything about this. I don't wanna answer anything nor do I wish to say anything more about this. I blogged this out, just wanting to let you know and perhaps, letting you all learn from my experience. I admit, I'm no wise old sage. I'm only 14. Maybe some of you out there may think I'm just bullshitting a truckload of crap. I wouldn't even bother reasoning it out with you all who seem to think so because my conscience is clearer than you can ever think it would be.

It'd go away, one day. The pain would disappear. I'd really hope you'd understand.

Yay. I mugged. Not exactly because it's just homework. :/ Ah, whatever. My eyelids are getting real heavy now. Prolly to the fact that I slept at 2am yesterday. Typical teenager shit, talking on the phone.

I'm not going out for the whole week at all. Or at least, try. I wanna mug and stay at home. Sounds funny coming from me. o.o What am I supposed to do then? Dad's not in the country and I'm broke. Tadah. So now you know.

I have loads of stuff to fulfil during the holidays. Let's hope I do then. (: Love, Fionella.

Parents' Office.

Good morning, one and all. First of all, I'm not even at home right now. I'm in my parents' office. o.o Well, basically to accompany my mom. Yeah. Kinda stupid because I got awoken pretty abruptly. I need my sleep man. Zzz.

Rah. The computer here, sucks. I had to download MSN Messenger and it's a Windows XP 2000, I think. I miss my own computer, although this computer loads 10 times faster than mine. ): Anyway, I shan't ramble on about this computer since I'm already using it and it's not really giving me a lot of trouble. Heh.

So Movie Night was yesterday. Didn't watch Akeelah and The Bee. Turns out that Agnes was just giving random suggestions. o.o Haha. Watched Bruce Almighty instead. Heh. Stupid and funny but it gets reallll boring in the middle. I almost dozed off. :/ Had some activity after that. WORLD PEACE! I love the Hope girls. :D

After Movie Night, Mavis, Edna and I went to have supper since we were freaking hungry. Walked to the kopitiam and found out there wasn't anything much there. So we walked all the way to Heartland Mall. Quite a looooong distance, I tell you. We wanted to eat at the Hongkong Cafe but it was full. ): So we headed down to Macs. Heh. Talked a looooooooooooot and ate of course. Hahaha. Grow fat and die, we will. Hahahahahahahahahaha.

Edna's mom fetched me home after everything. (: Thanks Ednaaaaaaaa (Mode). Haha.

After I bathed and such, my dad asked me if I wanted a car ride. o.o I agreed, of course. I love riding in the car in the wee hours of the night while listening to the radio. It allows me to think. (: Drove all the way to Choa Chu Kang. I love the distance! Then fetched my mom's friends and such and home sweet homeeeeeee. :D

Daddy's off to China today. 2-10 June. Rah. But it's kinda good. No one to nag me incessantly to get off the phone, stop smsing and stop going out. (: He's still my dad so I hope he has a safe trip. :D I want to go out later. I seriously do not wish to stay at home. Any dates? (:

Shiverrrrr.

:D Greetings one and all. I've not been very emotional for the past week, so kudos to that. :D The power of prayer and the love of God is really majestic and wonderful, if you ask me. :D :D

So off we (Mommy, Sis and I.) were to Parkway Parade for our shopping date. :D I didn't get anything much though. Just two tops. Boo. Better than nothing still. Heh. I still adore shopping/retail therapy. Soothes the mind and the soul and of course, it soothes the burden on my parents' wallet. XD

Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala. It's bloody cold right now because it's raining like nobody's business. o.o Meeting BFF later once again. I'm so gonna get my jacket. Heh. There's Movie Night later at church. Showing Akeelah And The Bee, according to Mavis. (: Watched it already but I don't mind watching it a second time. Heh. It's been a great week so far. Nothing to bother me emotionally and all. It has just been plain ol' fun for this adolescent approaching 14. :D :D Love, Fionella Wentz Foo. (Don't worry, Petey darlin'. You're still in my mindddd. :D :D)