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Today was an emotional day.

Gabriel Goh from my school passed away due to an accident. Although I don't know him and I only know him as the guy in charge of my group in the water rafting during Sec 2 camp, I hope he's happy up there with God. God will take care of him. Heaven's a happy place.

This incident made me realise how life can be so fragile. Break it, lose it, it's over. After half an hour in the chapel, I had loads of questions in my head. Why is God acting so unjust in this? Gabriel had like everything. He was a student leader, a good Scout and a model student. His future was already pathed out for him. But God had to take him away, just like that, in a blink of an eye.
I asked Mr Er what I was thinking. He told me some answers but the one that strucked me the most was, "The length of life is not important, it is the quality of life that matters." Then I thought, Gabriel had a very fulfilling life. Even if he passed away, at least he accomplished something that most didn't.
I thought of some peers who think "life's an ass. i wanna die." ALL THE TIME. I mean, at least they're alive to rectify what they regret. But they choose not to. Why do they not see that their life is precious?
Some even waste their life away by doing stupid things. Life is short, live life to the fullest are lines you normally hear. Have it ever occured to you that these lines are so true? We live to accomplish. Only then we pass away with peace in our heart. Why do these people not see they have the chance and potential to do things they never though they would do? Why do they just wanna waste life away being a a total slacker and leaving fate to decide their life?
Let me tell you something. YOU DECIDE YOUR LIFE. Fate plays no role in this. YOU are the cause of your own fortune. YOU can also be the cause of your own downfall. It's no one's fault if you ever land in prison for doing some misdeed. If you didn't make that decision to do it, you wouldn't be where you are now.
Now all I want is for people to learn something from this incident. I did. I wish some people would realise they are not nothing. The reason they are in this life is to accomplish something. I leave you now.

Rest in peace, Gabriel. You would always be in our hearts and prayer.

I'm not exactly in the best of mood now. In fact, my mood's like way down, down, down and more down than you can ever think of.

History test and Science test tomorrow. Gotta mug hard. I'm already placing all my hopes into getting into Pure Geography. There is no way I can get into Bio since ten thousand people who are smarter than me are aiming for that stream. If I don't get into PG, I don't know how my life is gonna turn out already.
I didn't go wakeboarding today. I was super lethargic and I wanted to study.
SOS, I need someone to listen to me right now. Save me tonight.

Love,
Fionella.

Okay, my ear (YES, you ain't reading wrongly.) is being rather funny now, or should I say for the past 2 weeks. It's like, peeling and liquid, NOT pus, has been coming out of it. Gross, I know. So if some of you happen to be eating your meal in front of the computer and reading this, I sincerly apologise. Abby the EAR doctor said perhaps some bacteria got into it and cause the itchyness and she asked me not to touch it. I can't help it! It's as itchy as chicken pox! Rah. I shall stop rambling on about my ear since this is a blog and not some ear rambling site. Then again, you came here not to read about my ear aye? SO MOVING ON.

School ended at 1 today. Gabby and Roy got into a fight in class. Gab's gonna get it again I guess. If I'm not wrong, they fought over something insignificant. O_O But whatever, lalalalala.

I tabulated my clothes wishlist today and I realised I need $800 to fund myself. After the EOY's, I'm swear I'm gonna work for cash, then shop and CHRISTMAS PRESSIES! :D

After school, studied a lot. Really, a lot. Like 2 chapters within 2 hours. Pretty fruitful study date today. [:Thanks Joseph for the ipod. Avril Lavigne and Good Charlotte kept me going. [: Three cheers for The Best Damn Thing and Good Morning Revival. I want both albums! Plus FOB and FM Static. Great bands everyone should adore manz.

I love Dashboard Confessional's Stolen. It's on repeat mode currently. (x

SHIAT. I need to get on with my Home Ec now.
FARE-D-WELLLLL.
LOVE, FIONELLA.

The worst things always falls on a Sunday.
Is Sunday a curse or something? Why do I always have to take so much shit on a Sunday? The last time so many things happened was also on a Sunday. What's with Sundays and me? I think I'm jinxed on Sundays.

Enough of the bad shit. On the other hand, I finally got my Rubik's cube. [: I only managed to get one side and it was orange. Heh. I'm gonna try to get the others man. Perseverance!

I'm gonna stay home all day and try to figure out the damn E-learn. I f-ing hate E-learn. When it comes to modern stuff like E-learn or traditional stuff like coming to school, I rather pick the traditional ways. E-learn is dumb. Like why did HIHS put E-Learning day the same as 4 other schools. The whole bloody system would be lagged up like nobody's business. But that moron asked us to be patient blah blah blah. Yeah, patient. PATIENT.

I hate Sundays. Damn.
ineedmywalklater.idontwnaseeemlateron.theydontwishtoseemeatallanw.
Love, Fionella.

Aloha.

I studied. (Does one and a half pages of History notes count?) But I guess I'm gonna continue later. Fwalalalalalalalala~

Anyway, I filled in the option form. They wanted to see the popularity for the subs. o.o So, my choices were like, Bio, Geog, FNN, Physics, Triple, DNT, Lit and Art. I mustmustmustmust take A Maths. I don't know why, but I mustmustmustmust take A Maths. Dee-dum.

I wanna change this skin man. Change it to greeen. [: Heh.
Just watched Bring It On: All Or Nothing (or is it All For Nothing?) I looove chick flicks. Mean Girls, Bring It On, Hot Chick, White Chicks and so on are all el-oh-vee-ee.
I think I'm gonna watch Secret later on! Wheeeeeeeee. Before that, we're gonna have a nicenice dinner. AND I MUST SERIOUSLY CUT DOWN LAH. I'M ALREADY A SOCIAL REJECT! RAWR.
Love, Fionella.

Like, E-Learning day was totally C-R-A-P luh.

The system got so laggy that they extended the deadline till this Sunday, 2359. I've got half a mind not to do it at all 'cuz I guess on Sunday, everyone's gonna be lagging up the bloody system again. Fwalalalalalalalala~

Abby came to my house to do Elearn but it was so screwed. Left me house and then off we were to PS. Then we had dinner at Soup Spoon! Meatless Minestrone~ Yummyyyyyy. [: Met Amd at Dhoby Ghaut. Met the rest at Kovan and we went to Hougang Mall foodcourt to finish up the Art stuff. I miss the old foodcourt so bloody much luh. No more el-cheapo and nice japanese food and no more 2.50 chicken rice. ]: Aww, this sucks. The new one is nice, but it's so pricey. Rawrr.

Went to school. Streaming talk. I'm damnnn confused right now. It's either Pure Geog or FNN. Then maybe Bio. 'Cuz for Pure Geog and FNN, I'm really interested in the career options in the future but for Bio, it's for the good of my own knowledge. Argh. I'm like bloody confused now.

Went home and THE.END.

I don't wanna tuition tomorrow morn! (And I just sent her the sms that I can't have tuition.) Tomorrow's PURE MUGGING MODE. No more joke, Fionella. THIS IS IT. You have 1 month and a couple of days to buck up and do well enough to get into your desired stream. 40% fun, 60% work. For now. (The ratio's gonna change on Monday 'cuz Monday I wanna get my Rubik's cube first. ><)

Love, Fionella.

-

I bloody hell detest the photographer for ND celebration. LIKE, HE/SHE TOOK PHOTOS AT MY FREAKING FAT ANGLE LAH. RAH. I FEEL LIKE A SOCIAL REJECT RIGHT NOW. ]:

HELLOOOO.
IT'S THURSDAY.
I don't have school in the morning. SO, IN YOUR FACE TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW MORN. BUT, I have to get my ass to school at night. STREAMING TALK. LIKE, WHAT CRAP LAH.
I don't wanna E-Learning Day. I WANT TO STAY IN SCHOOL TO STUDY! RAH. I'm weird, I know.

LALA. ABBY AND DEBBY WOULD BE COMING TO MY HOUSE TOMORROW TO DO THEIR ELEARN WITH ME. [: And we would have to do Art as well. RAHHHHH. What happen to the good ol' days of Art when everything was oh so simple?

So, ANYWAY, school was FFFFFFFF-UNNNNNN today! Why? IT WAS CLASSPHOTO TAKING TODAY! Total success baybeh. It turned out that the gayshitxzxzxz didn't even throw away his class tee. AND EVERYONE BROUGHT! Even Freesia wore it too! YAY, I LOVE ME CHAOTICS!
We were damn rowdy lah. Till the extent Charlie scolded us like nobody's business when we got back to class. WE WEREN'T CALLED THE CHAOTICS FOR NOTHING!
AND THUS SCHOOL ENDED AT 12.30 TODAY.
(Maths, Chinese, English, Art.) WHOOPIDOO! :D

LALALALALALALALALALALALALA. I'M SO DARN HIGH NOW AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.
I bid you adieu 'cuz I wanna watch telly and surf the Internet.
TATA, EARTHLINGS.
LOVE, FIONELLA.

Hello. I just did like, one an a half hours of Maths and yet I'm still at question 8. Rah. Have to chiong 'em all tomorrow then. Zzz. Didn't really follow my study schedule today because I didn't freaking thought that this freaking mensuration worksheet would take me 123456789 hours to finish. *U()*$. After this post, I'm soooo gonna do my Maths journal.

For your info, I'm not THAT into my studies this much, especially Maths. Well, I hope this sudden I-want-to-get-my-ass-on-the-chair-so-that-I-can-mugmugmug attitude would last FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER... I hope so then. MUG, FIONELLA MUG. 50(?) + more days to the EOY'S! Gotta get into Double Science, if not, FNN. I'm weird. But I like my Home Ec. (:

SCHOOL was typically school-likish? Nothing much to elaborate about lah. It's always the same. Mug,mug,mug, RECESS! And off you go to mugmugmug till at some bloody hell late hour. ZZZ.

E-Learning Day is crapola shitto. Screw the whatsoever who said that we didn't have to come to school. Yeah right. I have to get my ass to the hall on that day in the evening for streaming talk. ?!? Some talk which is inclusive of PTM. Another school-like example of killing 2 birds with 1 stone. WHOOPIDOO. My Term 3 has been rather screwed. But for like, the first time in my life, I got A1 in my Chinese test. Normally it has been stuck at B3 and I'm contented but hey, A1! English, I don't know. I think I've dropped a whole lot. Zzz. The rest is crap. Especially Science and Maths. ZZZ.

TOMORROW! There's gonna be class photo taking! CLASSTEETIME! :D But that bloody hell gayshitxzxz Aloysius threw his damn class tee away. I've got no comments man. I've already said TOOOOO much already.

MY DAD ROCKSIE DAISIES. :D He called home just now to ask my sis and I what donuts we wanted 'cuz he was queuing up for 'em at Suntec. Totally unexpected. OHME. I LOVE DADDY. (:

SOOOO, THAT'S MY DAY.
And I don't know if this may offend, but why are people making sucha big fuss about 7th month?!?! I'm not saying I don't respect the dead but some people make it seem like our departed bros and sis are here to get us or something. Come on, unless you have one heck of a guilty conscience, you shouldn't really be feeling this way right? C'MON. JUST GIVE THEM THE RESPECT THEY NEED/DESERVE AND LIVE YOUR LIFE NORMALLY. Andandand, LISTEN TO THE TABOOS YOUR SENIORS TELL YA. Half the time, they're ALWAYS true. Trust me.

LOVE, FIONELLAAA.

If only,you knew, it was all about you.

HELLO.(: I'm in school now. Supposedly supposed to do English project but left Abby and Mdy to do all the work. ><

Couldn't sleep yesterday night. But thankfully, someone called and save me. Therefore, I slept at 1 and now I'm soooo tired. Zzz. I have tuition later at 7. But thankfully I requested tuition to be only an hour long today. (:

I was almost late for school today. Zzz. Went to school with my new hair. Welllll, I got mixed comments and reactions from like, everybody. But whatever. I EL-OH-VEE-EE MY HAIR. (:
(Mdy's being a retard by wanting to type nonsense on my keyboard. She seems tired. WAKE UP! And S-M-I-L-E. :D)

Subjects was bleah. Gonna take class photos during the next 2 days.

More than words can say, baby I love you like I always do.

I think God can explain.

Hellooo friends and people from everywhere. Watched Rush Hour 3 and 881 in the span of the looong holiday. Woooo. Nice movies. (: Although RH3 isn't that good compared to RH2. But I loveee 881. Heh.

And I think Abby and I are retarded. Yesterday I was out with her, waiting for my parents to fetch us from Tanah Merah, we were observing 2 birds trying to get their beaks on to some KFC fried chicken. o.o Whenever a car came, they would run/fly to either side of the road. Funny birdies. Hahahahaha. And Abby and I was like, "Aye! Go get the chicken!", "Walau aye, stupid bird." HAHAHAHA. Doesn't sound that funny when it's said online but, WHATEVER. (:

Yeah, then went to my dad's chalet. Totally re-tar-ded. I loooooove Abby. (:

And today was weird. Weird doesn't seem the right word for it, but hell yeah it was. Went to church super under-dressed 'cuz I didn't have any mood to dress up. Blah. Ponned mass with Edna and Kim. Kim's friend came. Damn funny lah! Heh. Went to Suntec to do my dad's phone whatever 'cuz I sorta spoiled his phone. Blah. Went to Tampines. Caught 881. Dahhhh.

School's tomorrow. Ends at 2. Zzzz. TOODLES.
Love, Fionella.

Have you ever felt like a fool? I have.
Have you ever thought your existence was redundant? I have.
Have you ever thought that death could really solve all problems although you know it's not true? I have.
Have you ever thought that you'll just die sad? I have.
Have you ever thought that some or almost all your friends can't stand you? I have.
Have you ever felt immense feelings for someone and can't get over it? I have.

Going out with Debby now. Bye.
Love, Fionella.

Currently eating some ginger-peppermint sweet. Haven't eaten that in ages. Man, it's goooood. (:

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY! I'm not going out today. Wheeeeeeee. It's good 'cuz there's Harry Potter and The Goblet Of Fire later on HBO. :D Andandandandand, I'm tired. Plus, I reckon everywhere's gonna be darn bloody crowded so the best place to be is HOME. (: Heh. My sis called me at 5 in the morn just to open the sliding door 'cuz my dad locked it. Rah. Took me quite some time to fall back asleep 'cuz Sugar was getting irritating as well. Zzz.

Went to Hg Mall this afternoon. Had Ajisen for lunch and Mom went to buy her whatever sandals. I was looking for new games for my PSP but sadly, nothing. Either too expensive or nothing interesting. If there's Super Mario, I swear I'm soooo gonna get it man. My mom, sis and I LOOOOOVE Mario. Heh.

I'm soooo gonna skip tuition tomorrow. On the pretext that I'm not feeling well. Anyway, I'm feeling a lil woozy now. So yeah. TOODLES, LOVERS.
Love, Fionella.

Hey, it's been a few days since my last post. Just that, I've been rather tired and lazy to switch on my computer up to now. And yesterday was the first day of the week I came back home from school before the sunset. (Well, plus today as well.) Hoh-hum.

Today was National Day parade/concert. I was concert emcee. Anyway, people say you are always your own harshest critic. That's so true. Because frankly, I think, I suck. Yeah, totally. Although I've got a lot of reassurance from friends that I did an okay/alright/good job, but I still think I suck. I didn't do as well as I wanted myself to. Moreover, I did a bad job. I was so nervous because I didn't wanna screw up but in the end, I did. Totally. Urgh.

Caught The Simpsons Movie today. Super lame but in a good way. I was laughing like 3/4 of the entire movie. Believe me, you could even laugh at the credits part man. (: Catch it if you can, people.

I still wanna watch Rush Hour 3, 881, Secret, Alone, Disturbia...
Let's just hope I'd be able to get my ass out of the house tomorrow or seriously I'd die of boredom.
Love, Fionella.

(Someone to guide you, till the end.)

Currently listening to: Westlife's I Miss You

I can't sleep,
I just can't breathe,
when your shadow is all over me, baby.
Don't wanna be a fool in your eyes,
'Cause what we had was built on lies.

And when our love seems to fade away,
Listen to me hear what I say...

I don't wanna feel the way that I do,
I just wanna be right here with you,
I don't wanna see, see us apart,
I just wanna say it straight from my heart:
I miss you...

What would it take for you to see?
To make you understand,
that I'll always believe (always believe)
You and I can make it through,
And I still know I can't get over you.


Hellooooo. Yesterday was Shiqi's sweet 14! Went out with her and Mavis. Shopped plus girl talk. (: In the end, Shiqi's mom fetched us home 'cuz we were darn tired and our feet were torturing us. I can't wait for another date like this. (:

Today had church. Edna, Mavis and I were doing our own things during mass because we couldn't bring ourselves to listen. Went to TY's house soon after. History project. Zzz. Crapola crappy crap. At least we did something for the group lah. There's school tomorrow. I need to watch the With Hand And Heart vcd and come up with 5 questions, damn it. And I'm gonna watch Legally Blonde 2 too. (: Toodles.

Love, Fionella.

When I close my eyes,

When all seems like a dream you refuse to awake from. Skeptical, delirious, confused. All this time I still can't let go, I conclude. My mind would always rewind me back when there was me and you. Did you love me seriously before? Although the answer is obvious, I don't wanna believe anything. All I know is, I did and I don't know if I still do.
Everywhere I go, it's always you I want to see. In my thoughts mostly, it's always you. 3 months and counting. I don't wanna feel this way anymore.

it's you I see.

I'm fat. Fat. Yeah, totally. I ballooned up. Try gaining 5-6 kg out of the blue. If it's puberty, screw it. I don't care. I'm gonna do my utmost best to lose all that weight and go back to my original weight. Oh man. I'M OBESE, LIKE TOTALLY.

Caution: Stay away from this expanding life-size fat bomb. Will kill. Stay away.